Today, the condoms I bought a few years ago as a celebration of dumping my girlfriend due to a lack of sex, have expired. Every last one of them. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I haven't had sex for so long that my condoms have gone off. FML
Today, I had to throw away twenty condoms that were all expired, because that's how active my sex life is. FML
Today, I was cleaning out my bedside table when I came across some condoms I bought on my 18th birthday, to use the first time I had sex. They expired five years ago. I'm still waiting for my first time. FML
Today, I realized I bought 30 condoms last year. I now have 29. FML
Today, my friends were all talking about the first time they bought condoms. I can still remember the first time I bought them; in fact they are unopened and expired in my bedside table. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She gave me back the brand new box of 12 condoms that I had bought and left at her house. There were 8 left and I wasn't the one who opened them. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me and refused to give me back the condoms I'd just bought. Why? Because she wants to use them with the guys she's been cheating on me with. FML
Today, my boyfriend informed me that to save money, he's been using the same condom for the last month. FML
Today, I realized how sex-deprived I am when the thought of owning condoms gave me a rock-solid erection. FML
Today, it's the first birthday of the condom in my pocket. FML
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Top comments
liindsey 25
I agree with the pig comment, but it's also kind of pig-ish to keep someone around till you can find someone better..
ifailplzinsultme 0
Sounds like karma is the only thing that's been screwing you lately.
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Comments (182)
cjgqsmooth 0
YDI for not being man enough to get any
Splonkeydonkey 1
That's such a dumb reason to break up. In my opinion
gleeklove 2
Ugh, you disgust me. Lol... But seriously you deserved it I mean this paragraph makes you sound like such a pig! Grrr >:(
Mini_Pedobear 0
give her the condoms..
JGNEVAREZ01_fml 5
Wow. That's all I have to say. Maybe you shouldn't of dumped her.CARMA!
sailorfreak_fml 4
you're such a sick perv go find a prostitute to pleasure your needs OP -.-
Mannie_G 0
Who buys condoms to celebrate anyways?
TeeAmoo 0
One Word ; PIG !? Damn -.- , YDI Like Shiet . Asshole !
Shannon4_xo 0
Are all relationships just about sex these days? -.- You really are a wee bit pathetic.
skatergirl33 0
yuup! soo annoying :3 mayb things will change....ya right!!
skatergirl33 0
wayy ta b man! get out there and start having sex! haha thats ok... someday ull get laid!