Today, the condoms I bought a few years ago as a celebration of dumping my girlfriend due to a lack of sex, have expired. Every last one of them. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I haven't had sex for so long that my condoms have gone off. FML
Today, I had to throw away twenty condoms that were all expired, because that's how active my sex life is. FML
Today, I was cleaning out my bedside table when I came across some condoms I bought on my 18th birthday, to use the first time I had sex. They expired five years ago. I'm still waiting for my first time. FML
Today, I realized I bought 30 condoms last year. I now have 29. FML
Today, my friends were all talking about the first time they bought condoms. I can still remember the first time I bought them; in fact they are unopened and expired in my bedside table. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She gave me back the brand new box of 12 condoms that I had bought and left at her house. There were 8 left and I wasn't the one who opened them. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me and refused to give me back the condoms I'd just bought. Why? Because she wants to use them with the guys she's been cheating on me with. FML
Today, my boyfriend informed me that to save money, he's been using the same condom for the last month. FML
Today, I realized how sex-deprived I am when the thought of owning condoms gave me a rock-solid erection. FML
Today, it's the first birthday of the condom in my pocket. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
liindsey 25
I agree with the pig comment, but it's also kind of pig-ish to keep someone around till you can find someone better..
ifailplzinsultme 0
Sounds like karma is the only thing that's been screwing you lately.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (182)
ffcloudforever 0
Condoms expire?? Sorry to sound stupid, but i'm a 15 year old virgin. And a girl
sweet2u22 9
Of course they expire. Plastic bottles expire, why wouldn't condoms?
justanotherhuman 21
I'm not gonna rip on ya darlin', but you're 15 and clearly have internet access... please, please, please read as *much* as you possibly can about intercourse and contraceptives before you decide to become active. No excuses!
daydreamer244 13
karma's a bitch. and so are you!
ImDB8 0
Not like you were using them anyway!!
butterz1839 3
Do they like dissolve or something
ILoveEmoes 9
If you hadn't mentioned that you'd bought them for celebration you would've sounded like a pretty normal person. Celebrating that you got out of a relationship if she did nothing to you apart from not having the same level of sexdrive as you sort of just makes you sound like a bit of a douchebag.
lilcthag 0
You Suckk. This Was Pointless..
dubbadee123 5
I'm a guy and I get it but still if that's the only reason then you've got to realize that sex isn't the only thing needed in a relationship
danielshale 3
thats what you call IRONY
lulzmylife 4
HAHAHAHA. Enjoy your karma, pig.
boredinmath27 0
Karma's a bitch?