Today, my girlfriend broke up with me and refused to give me back the condoms I'd just bought. Why? Because she wants to use them with the guys she's been cheating on me with. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She gave me back the brand new box of 12 condoms that I had bought and left at her house. There were 8 left and I wasn't the one who opened them. FML
Today, I walked in on my girlfriend cheating on me. The guy turned around and said, "Sorry, I borrowed your condoms." FML
Today, my girlfriend came to my house crying because the guy who she has been cheating on me with doesn't want to be with her anymore. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she found out that her ex cheated on her when they were together, so she pegged all men the same, saying she was done with relationships, and didn't care if she hurt me or not. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I refused to share a toothbrush with her. FML
Today, the condoms I bought a few years ago as a celebration of dumping my girlfriend due to a lack of sex, have expired. Every last one of them. FML
Today, a girl I like was taking her phone out of her pocket and two condoms fell out. Last week I'd tried hooking up with her and she'd said that she only has sex with a man who is her boyfriend. So I said, “Oh, new boyfriend, huh?” She said, “Nah it’s for hookups, gotta be prepared!” I guess she forgot she lied to me. FML
Today, I went to work leaving my girlfriend asleep in my bed. Later she calls me, demanding to know how long I've been cheating on her. We don't use condoms but she found several in the bin when she decided to empty it. I had to explain while my colleagues listened that I use them to masturbate. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I was too tired for sex, which she interpreted as me confessing to not wanting to have sex with her because I’m having sex with other women. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. By making out with her new boyfriend in front of me. FML
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Top comments
sam_stalker 0
Steal them and poke holes in all of them, then give them back! That will show the cheating bitch
mjsmclaren 0
be a man, tell her u poked holes through all of them.
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Comments (82)
9six7four4 0
What kind were they?
MadaFaka_fml 0
what you should have said is: "Keep the condoms bitch, I hope they would all be reaped and ull get 8 babies pregnant from the asshole u cheated me with".
genius_man16 1
anyone else notice that the FML says "guyS"? be glad you are rid of that *****. Also, get tested. Like, yesterday.
ZleveL 0
103 then her mom walks in... OP: I got the condoms! mom: :D
confusdsincbirth 5
Wow 92 I actually hadnt til you saud that. Haha
wolfgold2 20
Skittles flavored unicorn horn
manofmerr 27
The 4,155 (as of this comment) people who said op deserved it were clearly all the guys (and possibly girls) she was cheating on him with. To the op, you are most definitely better off without her.
BaronW 0
Be grateful she's using condoms? Remember, the best revenge is to live well. Just move on.
OmgItsAnaBeatriz 0
I Was About To Say That >_
skullbuster 0
No, the best revenge would be to bust a nut right in her eye! But it doesn't sound like he is going to be tapping that again any time soon!
mexiwrestler93 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
YDI for being a guy
dearViena 0
that was such a 'smart' thing to say :| wth?
spoo 24
oops, wrong reply
mxer53 0
you should be punched in the face for being a girl
itsgen 16
woahh what a cheap bitch but then why did you ask for them?
sexymessy 0
lol i agree,i mean its not like they cost much. So who cares, and she probably just said that to you so you would feel even worse. Looks like it worked.
Ox_Baker 0
This exact same FML was up a few months ago.
fuzzywazzy012 0
*****. *cough*cough*
sam_stalker 0
Steal them and poke holes in all of them, then give them back! That will show the cheating bitch
gorguz14evar 0
Genious
Chimaera_fml 0
Sure, it'll show her. It'll also subject some poor child to being unwanted/unplanned for.
DieterDerBlau 0
MY thoughts exactly...
girandwogpig 0
or children. Did you notice the S on guys? Holy shit....
JarJarBinks_fml 0
Karma will poke holes in them
iceblitz 0
Well u werent goin to need them for a while until u got another girlfriend anyways. hahaha JK .... just buy some more and forget about it...
JarJarBinks_fml 0
Well, where I live, condoms are in individually sealed packs...#5
smiller0789 3
They are everywhere. You just need to stick a pin through the center of the pack...
xkaokaox 0
are you so stingy you have to ask for a pack of condoms back? they are like 5 bucks buddy.
SomeonePosting 0
Depends on what kind and how much you buy. I don't really blame the OP for asking for something he paid for that wasn't a gift back. They are his even if they're used for both of their sakes. It was pretty cheap to ask for them, but I think it was even cheaper for her to take them and use them with the person she was cheating with. Considering he just bought them, I bet she planned to break up with him when he replenished the supply so she wouldn't buy her own.
Ms_Thingie 0
LOL smart gf jk