badplacerightnow
Frisco, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Celebrate good times come on!
Today, it's the first birthday of the condom in my pocket. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
vcarder
United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy
I remember…
Today, my friends were all talking about the first time they bought condoms. I can still remember the first time I bought them; in fact they are unopened and expired in my bedside table. FML
Gurior
Canada 🌶️ Spicy
Today, the condoms I bought a few years ago as a celebration of dumping my girlfriend due to a lack of sex, have expired. Every last one of them. FML
fmeplease
United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy
Time to pretend
Today, I was cleaning out my bedside table when I came across some condoms I bought on my 18th birthday, to use the first time I had sex. They expired five years ago. I'm still waiting for my first time. FML
fuckit
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I realized I bought 30 condoms last year. I now have 29. FML
clash
France 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I haven't had sex for so long that my condoms have gone off. FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my boyfriend informed me that to save money, he's been using the same condom for the last month. FML
anon
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Quickshot
Today, while finally about to make love with my long-term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I received a text message from my favorite sister, saying, "Great news! The technology in condoms has improved so much that they ensure that accidents like you won't ever happen again!" Today's my birthday. FML
Noname
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Gagging for it
Today, it's the sixth anniversary of the last time I had intercourse. FML
hmmmm
Australia 🌶️ Spicy
Tiny Tim
Today, the condom slipped off, because my boyfriend refuses to admit that he needs to use smaller condoms. FML
Top comments
pureportedpear 27
Look on the bright side, you are atleast not getting an unwanted child...
rockbandaddict85 22
time to replace it, most likely gone bad, no longer effective. on another note, it sucks that's it's been at least a year since you saw any action. sorry op :(
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (89)
saraitkddh 47
Don't worry OP, I am sure one day you will use a one. Get out more and ask girls out more often.
jtthegr8 26
I'm hoping he went out and at least showed this one a good time :) Or threw it away for being so old..
j_cat187 20
just don't beg a hooker to sleep with you.
Animekid126 13
Wow, best advice i've ever heard.
drivingmissdaisy 13
Are you going to throw it a party?
james_logan 19
plot twist: OP hasn't been using the condom, but he has been getting some
pureportedpear 27
Look on the bright side, you are atleast not getting an unwanted child...
sayyestothedress 24
Happy birthday!
DoubleDosexo 12
condoms have a higher chance v of failing if they're left in pockets, purses, wallets, etc too long...
gurbism 16
All things considered, that is one hell of a silver lining.
rockbandaddict85 22
time to replace it, most likely gone bad, no longer effective. on another note, it sucks that's it's been at least a year since you saw any action. sorry op :(
tj4234 36
If he got it new from the box, it'll still be in date. The packets usually have expiry dates on them anyway.
asnakelovinbabe 16
Yea, but being jostled around in a pocket for a year? Exposed to a lot of movement and temperature fluctuations... I would not trust that one bit. Better safe than sorry, it's just one condom! I agree, time to replace it.
cjwayy 22
Yeah, after all the friction and stuff it can get worn down.
False_Stupidity 42
Wow #41, Maybe you and OP can get together...
jerryj 27
Happy bday! What did you name the little sucker when it was born a year ago?
MrSassypants 34
Ironically it was named "chick magnet."
winchestinalock 21
Happy first birthday condom in your pocket! May you have many more to come...or not in this case
rosso700 14
No sex = no std, no pregnancy scares, no drama
wyverntail 15
No love life.
xoamy906 25
#21, using a condom doesn't necessarily mean you have a love life. It could, yes, but it could also mean just a sex life with one night stands, etc.
HarleyBlues 24
gee thanks captain.
JayBunny 16
20, condoms don't fully prevent that. Do your research.
gatorclay97 28
#55, It's effective over 99% of the time.
Googolman 29
I wouldn't say 99%. I think it's more like 85%.
DArthurVaderian 18
There's so many STDs a condom does nothing about
Garrett2818 21
Slumps happen to everyone so I wouldn't sweat it. Just don't use that condom when you break it otherwise it'll follow suit.
PickledSweets 22
Wow, this FML made me laugh harder than it should. I'm sorry about that, but there's more to life than banging a bunch of girls all the time. Maybe life is just biding it's time to throw the right girl into yours :)
ClassyCataclasis 4
Either that or you'll be alone forever.
PickledSweets 22
Okay, Debbie downer. But I suppose this is FML we're talking about...
Aquila_Umbrae 26
Dude you've got to throw that thing out.
trellz17 19
I bet as soon as you take it out someone will want to sleep with you.