Today, my son paid the price for emulating his idols, aka the sub-human scum on Jersey Shore. He called me from jail and actually had the balls to try to guilt me into bailing him out, after he'd been arrested for punching his girlfriend at a liquor store. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to bail my son out of jail, because he's a wimp and wouldn't last a night in there. His crime: pissing through the open windows of passing cars after losing a bet with his friends. I feel like if he gave me grandkids, they'd be born with half a brain. FML
Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me from jail, expecting me to bail him out. He'd tried to buy a load of booze at the liquor store and came up short by ten cents. The cashier refused to be short-changed, and he figured the only reasonable reaction was to punch her in the face. FML
Today, my scumbag son slapped his girlfriend in front of her family, and her dad picked him up and threw him off a second floor balcony. Good for her dad, he deserved it, but now he's laid up at my place and I have to wipe his ass and listen to him whine. FML
Today, a punk-looking college kid was making fun of my mentally handicapped son. Out of anger, I punched him in the face. I got handcuffed and thrown into a police car. The kid stood there laughing and pointing at me. FML
Today, I had to bail my drunk dad out of jail after he beat the shit out of a mime artist. All he had to say on the matter was "Fucking bastard was playing mind games." and that he'd beat him up again if he could. FML
Today, I got to see my son's dream of being on television come true. Unfortunately, it was because he'd been arrested for trying to rob a bank. FML
Today, my 14-year-old son's pathetic rebellion came to a head. He ran away from home, leaving a note saying he hates me and was leaving forever to be part of a gang his friends had formed. He came back an hour later crying. His whole gang had gotten mugged, which he somehow blamed me for. FML
Today, my son, who to my great shame is a typical bully, was suspended for bullying a disabled girl. Her father must have been the biggest, meanest, most tattooed ex-marine I've ever seen. He blamed me for bad parenting, and I actually peed myself a little in fear, which he saw too. FML
Today, my son had to help out at the local retirement home for his community service. He got in serious trouble and came whining to me about it after he tried threatening some of the residents into taking part in a Harlem Shake video. FML
Today, and in the past week since became a full-time dad to my 16 year-old son, he's got caught sneaking out at night, lost his virginity, and I had to call the cops because he was caught trying to go two states over to be with said girl. I think he's trying to make me look bad. FML
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Top comments
KittyJay 3
Leave him there. Punk bitches hit women...
calaholic35 0
Goddamn asshole..
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Comments (323)
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
Nothing worse than a woman-beater. Figuratively.
MidnaLink 35
Well Jersey Shore is pointless and stupid anyway!
darth1 18
Leave him there, hope he rots.
oneleggedbeauty 0
If you dont idolize them you wobt know why. Let me tell you this they do what they please and dobt care what people think. Isnt that what we teach peole to do? What makes you happy and not to listen to what others think?
ohmandapants 17
Stop trying to defend them. They're idiots. And sorry, but you're kind of an idiot for idolising them. They have NO CLASS. That is NOT a good thing. These comments of yours show your immaturity. Clearly you and the people on Jersey Shore have that in common.
Quikraptor 8
We also teach people good morals and not to just up and attack people, too. It doesn't matter how free you are, freedom is a privilege not to to be abused.
kandi_kid69 15
89- won't, don't, people* There shouldn't be a reason to idolize them. They're idiotic people with no morals. Yes, people are usually taught to not care what other people think and to do what makes you happy but that doesn't mean to act like an immature child. Ops son deserves it for hitting his girlfriend though.
oneleggedbeauty 0
Youre just a self immulated bitch
oneleggedbeauty 0
THEY DONT HIT GIRLS YOU ASSSHOLE. WATCH THE SHOW. NOT ONCE HAS ONE GUY ON THERE HIT A GIRL
white16sox 19
ALL CAPS RAGE! Also, they are douche bags regardless of whether or not they hit women.
kandi_kid69 15
202- Are you yelling at us with Caps lock? We honestly don't care if they hit women or not. Like 211 said, they're still douches regardless. And why would we want to watch that show? It'll most likely make our brain cells *poof* within the first five minutes.
ohmandapants 17
201- I'm a what? First of all, "immulated" is not a word. Second of all, self IMMOLATION is a form of protest, by setting oneself on fire. You are dumb. I can see why you idolise the cast of Jersey Shore.
oneleggedbeauty 0
What the **** ever yer just jelly poo cause yer ugli abd wish ye looked perdy like snooki or jwoww
oneleggedbeauty 0
She may be pretty but nit compared to snooki or jwoww
nerdywhiteguy 4
Let him rot in jail he deserved It for following those alcoholic idiots
peve3 12
Jersey Shore is probably the most pointless show I have ever seen. Why someone would want to imitate those immature people is beyond me!
oneleggedbeauty 0
A) bitch i lpve the jersey shore casts they are my udols B) when has Mike ever hit a girl?
ohmandapants 17
I'm sure it would have gotten out if one of them had beat a girl. It always does. Edit: the **** is happening with the app tonight? This was a reply to 85
brigante45 5
People still watch that awful show?
facilitator 0
We don't know that for sure. The camera shows what the camera wants to show.