Today, my son paid the price for emulating his idols, aka the sub-human scum on Jersey Shore. He called me from jail and actually had the balls to try to guilt me into bailing him out, after he'd been arrested for punching his girlfriend at a liquor store. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to bail my son out of jail, because he's a wimp and wouldn't last a night in there. His crime: pissing through the open windows of passing cars after losing a bet with his friends. I feel like if he gave me grandkids, they'd be born with half a brain. FML
Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me from jail, expecting me to bail him out. He'd tried to buy a load of booze at the liquor store and came up short by ten cents. The cashier refused to be short-changed, and he figured the only reasonable reaction was to punch her in the face. FML
Today, my scumbag son slapped his girlfriend in front of her family, and her dad picked him up and threw him off a second floor balcony. Good for her dad, he deserved it, but now he's laid up at my place and I have to wipe his ass and listen to him whine. FML
Today, a punk-looking college kid was making fun of my mentally handicapped son. Out of anger, I punched him in the face. I got handcuffed and thrown into a police car. The kid stood there laughing and pointing at me. FML
Today, I had to bail my drunk dad out of jail after he beat the shit out of a mime artist. All he had to say on the matter was "Fucking bastard was playing mind games." and that he'd beat him up again if he could. FML
Today, I got to see my son's dream of being on television come true. Unfortunately, it was because he'd been arrested for trying to rob a bank. FML
Today, my 14-year-old son's pathetic rebellion came to a head. He ran away from home, leaving a note saying he hates me and was leaving forever to be part of a gang his friends had formed. He came back an hour later crying. His whole gang had gotten mugged, which he somehow blamed me for. FML
Today, my son, who to my great shame is a typical bully, was suspended for bullying a disabled girl. Her father must have been the biggest, meanest, most tattooed ex-marine I've ever seen. He blamed me for bad parenting, and I actually peed myself a little in fear, which he saw too. FML
Today, my son had to help out at the local retirement home for his community service. He got in serious trouble and came whining to me about it after he tried threatening some of the residents into taking part in a Harlem Shake video. FML
Today, and in the past week since became a full-time dad to my 16 year-old son, he's got caught sneaking out at night, lost his virginity, and I had to call the cops because he was caught trying to go two states over to be with said girl. I think he's trying to make me look bad. FML
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Top comments
KittyJay 3
Leave him there. Punk bitches hit women...
calaholic35 0
Goddamn asshole..
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Comments (323)
BlackHarry 0
Letting him stay there a while might teach him a lesson.
jknice 0
tell your son good luck finding a job with that charge on his record. especially in this job market. his life is ruined.
Izzy1993 1
I wish there was a that's what your son deserves button.
thew_fml 14
he isn't a douchebag because he watches jersey shore - he watches jersey shore because he's a douchebag
middlecyclone 5
Quality son you raised. I hope you realize that your parenting skills played a huge part in this.
ellaterra 1
Have any of you guys actually seen jersey shore? They don't hit women because they were raises to respect woman. Before I've seen it I didn't like jersey shore because of everything I heard and I never even watched it! So I watched it because how can I form an opinion over something I have not seen. It's just kids having a good time. What is it to you to decide how someone should do with their life. What they do is on TV, they do just like what the most of the young adults do, get drunk and try to get laid. Why are you discriminating against them when theirs is public? Back to the point from what I've seem they hate people hit women and got in fights over that. Watch it before you say bad things about it. :p
fingersandtoes6 0
how is trying to bed every women they see respectful?
robt24 2
Yes leave Him there
liketoplay 0
Um... Time to get a DNA check, make sure he really is your son, at least you have a chance still ;P
Shades99 1
I'm not saying anyone who idolize the jersey shore people are **** sucker but anyone who does probably likes pleasuring men with their mouth.