Today, my son paid the price for emulating his idols, aka the sub-human scum on Jersey Shore. He called me from jail and actually had the balls to try to guilt me into bailing him out, after he'd been arrested for punching his girlfriend at a liquor store. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to bail my son out of jail, because he's a wimp and wouldn't last a night in there. His crime: pissing through the open windows of passing cars after losing a bet with his friends. I feel like if he gave me grandkids, they'd be born with half a brain. FML
Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me from jail, expecting me to bail him out. He'd tried to buy a load of booze at the liquor store and came up short by ten cents. The cashier refused to be short-changed, and he figured the only reasonable reaction was to punch her in the face. FML
Today, my scumbag son slapped his girlfriend in front of her family, and her dad picked him up and threw him off a second floor balcony. Good for her dad, he deserved it, but now he's laid up at my place and I have to wipe his ass and listen to him whine. FML
Today, a punk-looking college kid was making fun of my mentally handicapped son. Out of anger, I punched him in the face. I got handcuffed and thrown into a police car. The kid stood there laughing and pointing at me. FML
Today, I had to bail my drunk dad out of jail after he beat the shit out of a mime artist. All he had to say on the matter was "Fucking bastard was playing mind games." and that he'd beat him up again if he could. FML
Today, I got to see my son's dream of being on television come true. Unfortunately, it was because he'd been arrested for trying to rob a bank. FML
Today, my 14-year-old son's pathetic rebellion came to a head. He ran away from home, leaving a note saying he hates me and was leaving forever to be part of a gang his friends had formed. He came back an hour later crying. His whole gang had gotten mugged, which he somehow blamed me for. FML
Today, my son, who to my great shame is a typical bully, was suspended for bullying a disabled girl. Her father must have been the biggest, meanest, most tattooed ex-marine I've ever seen. He blamed me for bad parenting, and I actually peed myself a little in fear, which he saw too. FML
Today, my son had to help out at the local retirement home for his community service. He got in serious trouble and came whining to me about it after he tried threatening some of the residents into taking part in a Harlem Shake video. FML
Today, and in the past week since became a full-time dad to my 16 year-old son, he's got caught sneaking out at night, lost his virginity, and I had to call the cops because he was caught trying to go two states over to be with said girl. I think he's trying to make me look bad. FML
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Top comments
KittyJay 3
Leave him there. Punk bitches hit women...
calaholic35 0
Goddamn asshole..
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Comments (323)
psuedoanon 2
White trash idiots...
AbbyAbyss 5
How the **** can someone's idols be the Jersey Shore cast?!
dellis44 7
leave his ass in their.
Random951 12
Are you going to tell us? In their what?
NuTrees 9
It's more and less about the gender. Men shouldn't hit women. Women shouldn't hit men. No one should hit anyone period. Yet, women tend to physically weaker then men. So hitting a women in the wrong is wrong. Yet if she is robbing you, I say she deserves the offensive defense. And it still works if genders were reversed
11161986 1
In all fairness I have watched most of the episodes and I don't recall them ever encouraging hitting women. Quite the opposite actually, arguing? Sure but we all do that. In my life if I don't like something I just ignore it, but most that say they don't like something i.e. Bieber or Jersey Shore spend a good deal of time talking about them and drawing comparisons to themselves , others, and the hated party. Funny stuff.
brokenheartemo 7
Leave him there, one less asshole for the cops to have to arrest again.
tylerwc111 13
You should have left him dumass to sit in that cell...
caviar_fml 2
his idols are the people from Jersey Shore?!? wow. just wow.
desoto96 9
I don't care what anybody says. It's your fault, you raised him.
lena85_fml 7
I'm sure he didn't tell his son to hit women. a parent can only do so much for their kids, and it is up the the kid to take the advice or leave it. My parents have taught me and my siblings the same morals and values growing up, and it has been up to us to take them. My brother is a 28 year old alcoholic and compulsive liar.. And the rest of us 3 " kids " were raised just the same and turned out alright. So tell me why it's my parents fault?? I don't fucken think so.
kirstyndwatson 0
Sounds like a wonderful person.