Today, a punk-looking college kid was making fun of my mentally handicapped son. Out of anger, I punched him in the face. I got handcuffed and thrown into a police car. The kid stood there laughing and pointing at me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, some punk got up in my face yelling at me, pushed my wife and scratched my car with a, "What you gonna do, old man?" attitude, and yet I’m the bad guy who gets arrested because I open-palm slapped him and he fell into a glass window and fucked up his face and neck, probably permanently. FML
Today, I finally had it with the redneck bully who's been tormenting me. He was repeatedly poking and pinching me and laughing out loud during class, so I slung him to the ground, pinning him. I got suspended. They only called his parents, who never do anything; my "caring" parents are looking into teen boot camp. FML
Today, some punk tried the "flaming bag of dog poop" trick on me. I caught him in the act and smashed the unlit bag across his face. Now he's "traumatized" and wants to press charges. FML
Today, some guy punched me so hard I lost a tooth. I defended myself and broke his nose, so he started screaming for his mother. He turned out to be autistic, so witnesses, including the police, said I should have been more understanding of his disability after HE HIT ME AND TOOK MY FUCKING TOOTH OUT. FML
Today, some guy tried to mug me. Shocked, I threw a punch that somehow knocked him on his ass. I'm now staring down the barrel of a lawsuit since he was apparently only 16 and "acting out" because of his shitty home life, as if I should have just handed him my wallet politely. FML
Today, I encountered a madman who threw a bottle at me and hurt me. In a fit of rage, I beat him up, and as a result I was taken to the police station, and ordered to pay compensation for everything. FML
Today, I was put in lockup for accidentally scaring the officer by lifting my hand to scratch my head. FML
Today, I had to pick my son up from school after he beat the crap out of another student. The words that made him go nuts were apparently, "You mad, bro?" FML
Today, someone punched me in the back of the head, so I swung round and broke their nose. It was some woman screaming at me for wearing headphones and ignoring her. She then pulled a hidden disability badge out her pocket so everyone thought I was beating up a disabled person. FML
Today, as I was driving to work, I witnessed a kid apparently getting jumped. Being a good citizen, I got out and started yelling at them. I ended up alongside the kid in the hospital. FML
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Top comments
NitroTonicsFML 4
Karma will him someday.
xMafia 0
OMG. That punk deserved more than just a punch in the face. What a lowlife. Don't worry, he'll get his retribution.
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Comments (306)
NitroTonicsFML 4
Karma will him someday.
GreatGeak 8
my father did something similar but the kid had a group of friends as "witnesses"
NitroTonicsFML 4
get*
MyChemical_fml 0
This is the first FML I can't laugh at. I'm sad now. :(
DestinyYum 3
I'm with you on that one :/
Eyeliner_fml 0
fyl, for that you should of beat him. screw karma that bitch is slow xD
enjoywhileyoucan 0
As a witnesses? to against your dad?
enjoywhileyoucan 0
HAHA! You are definitely right!
2muchshyt 0
karma is a bitch when it's you, but if it's someone else, it's not even a slap.
theten_fml 9
He shouldn't be in college. You should of punched him harder and harder till you punched him hard enough.
lover_of_life 8
75, enough until...? He lost 100 IQ points?
kyarush 10
that kid needed it. sorry OP
LordXavier 0
**** if you had your Batman suit on you could of gotten away with it! That bastard never gets caught!
bernzz 0
violence is not the answer unless it has to do with punching punks who make fun of the mentally handicapped people, then yes violence is the answer.
skyler_kitttyyy 0
Awww hopeful that kid got messed up to= sorry
LoveMySoldier82 0
Karma? No, Karma is not a bitch. A pissed off cajun momma is a bitch. I would have made sure the police getting called would be worth it.
blondie97_x 2
so true!
mozeltov 7
people like that punk shouldn't be considered human, hope he rots
Jizwold 0
I punched one of my friends in the face and broke his nose and gave him a concussion... I didn't go to jail though and I had way less of a reason to do it. sorry op
Reyo 2
If he was able to stand there laughing at you...you didn't do enough.
supertacowaffle 41
so am I:/
MrFerret 0
Like Chuck Norris always says "Violence is never the answer, it is the question and the answer is yes."
sloppyflow 1
hope that kid got his tougue ripped out
jackler92 16
It better
Illblowyourmind 3
FYL OP:( people like that anger me so ******* much!
flammenhund 4
You and I both.
dizzyizzy97 3
I hate people like that. Pisses me off that's what it does. >:O
toqwert 0
Since you live in America, you should have gotten your son to punch him, the cops couldn't have done anything.
Kamon97 23
And god forbid a cop would have any ******* sympathy I hate it when they have to go by the "book" -.-
omgshaylaaa 0
well duh op. you can't expect to get away with acts of violence even though the punk deserved it.
omG_G00 0
This.
enjoywhileyoucan 0
So where is the fair? !! Is "f..king with a boy has mental disorder" not a violence?
5HAD0W 4
Obviously not. The child is not physically hurt in any way.
Emrysa 1
Yeah op, don't you know it's survival of the spineless now? You can steal, mentally and physically torture those who can't fight back, and the law will protect you as long as no one in authority sees or feels like doing anything about it, and you can even sue if someone tries to stop you. Jeeze get with the program.
Luke1717 0
I wouldn't just do nothing I'd say it would be worth it
GiggidyPants 0
holy geezus 4 shut your face
StephWALKER 17
In Australia that's harrassment and bullying. The stupid punk would get in trouble for that.
dancingxthexmoon 0
94 is damn right. :) Though it sucks because many people don't speak up anyways or the school doesn't care. :-/
Lehk 9
#41, actially OP was held accountable for being a violent criminal. if you are going to try to use "big" words like "vigilante" learn to spell them first, then learn their meaning. an escalating vengeful act is not vigilantism, if it had been someone else's retarded kid OP was looking out for then it could be vigilantism.
justbecuz123 0
@94 - Yeah, here in America it is too. But we seem to follow "oh, well, um we didn't see anything, so to be fair we can't prove anything that would merit punishment. It looks like this man just ran out of nowhere and punched a kid in the face while he was talking to another kid." *******... this country, piece of shit... I tell ya, not that I wish I lived anywhere else, because I wouldnt know where would be better, but I still cant stand living in America.
RatTatTat 0
*actually. and 41's point was the punk college kid was clearly in the wrong, yet nothing happened to him. but the parent who was just standing up for their kid and his mental well-being gets arrested. also, "vigilant" is the word 41 meant.
Mr_Serious 6
how about you learn to use context clues like the school system taught us in 3rd grade, if not earlier, because vigilant is the proper word to use in that sentence. Dipshit, go flame on elsewhere where people can't actually use the language that they speak.
xMafia 0
OMG. That punk deserved more than just a punch in the face. What a lowlife. Don't worry, he'll get his retribution.
i_wuz_nver_here 31
I thought it said making out not making fun. that really threw me off... :)
fmlx24life 0
Oh my god me too
chorzo 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
You're a retard. pun intended.
that1guy1 13
That is neither a pun, nor remotely funny.
Person000 0
you ******* idiot that's not a pun
Mikalamalasa 0
Dude... Not cool.
hairt 4
I found it funny ;(
whatfml 0
I find you to be abit of a ******* moron!
IrishSoulja 4
Sounds like youre the one who deserves a broken nose
kyarush 10
blue man!
GiggidyPants 0
hey OP is not a retard. we prefer to be called little people
ryanstan123 0
******. that is not even remotely funny. you, sir, deserve to be shot in the nuts. and survive, and live with the pain, you lowlife
ncvolley123 8
what the hell is your problem? You are a terrible persone, and deserve to be shot in the nads with a BB gun. I hope it goes deep into your testicles, you bastard,
airsplat 0
he turned blue... thats what happens when blue balls are not taken care of... go get laid ya ******* smurf
_HeadShot_ 0
169 - or avatar? oh and that doesn't even deserve to be a pun. just go burn in an eternal fire
mecolaya 0
It's funny because people's automatic reaction to retard jokes is, apparently, to shoot the offender in the nuts. I had no idea. Oh, and blue guy's a dumbass. He should be nut-shot.
dizzyizzy97 3
That's genius my friend. Genius. ^^
cold_heat1321321 4
Troll.
JediScum 1
Please go die in a gruesome fashion. Immediately.
Aniki_Sohma 20
I found that extremely funny, for no reason whatsoever.
schwancy 2
At least you got one good shot in. Karma is a bitch. He will get what's coming to him.
H3ALTHFR3AK 0
I don't know if it was a "good" shot considering that the kid was still conscious. I wish the kid had to leave in an ambulance :/
Jupac690 0
hi
iyahkinz 0
easy for you guys to say cux its not your kid!
unidentified_sta 5
"Cux"? Wow that is a new low. Misspelling slang now is the next step.
tuninggamer 0
The fact that people misspell slang means they treat it as if it is normal, which is terrifying.
arkumx 3
z is right next to x. a typo is not a misspelling. don't harsh on someone for missing a key. correct people spell weird like wierd or something like that.
DocBastard 40
Can I correct you for using "harsh" as a verb?
alley11 4
haha
iknowwhatimsayin 0
haha wow lul (I meant to do that)
Stiggy626 25
or it was because the x is next to the z on a keyboard....
JokersChild310 0
this is why I hate the law. people like that punk shld b shot :)
OhShuttup 0
karma's a bitch , it'll come back and bite him in the ass!
White_Fury 0
FALCON PUNCH!!!
illerThanTheirs 8
Why? that's what the disorder is called. may not be politically correct but that's what it is.