Today, my husband came too soon during sex. He then tried to pretend it didn't happen and continued. He humped me with a half-erect noodle for about seven minutes before I finally called him out. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my husband shit himself a little during sex, but tried to keep going because he was "so close" and didn’t want to ruin the orgasm. I, of course, shoved him away but it was already down my leg and had stained our cream bedsheets. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He tried to put it in unerected. He was serious. FML
Today, as my husband normally initiates sex and sometimes I want to but always chicken out, I was feeling brave and did so. After he came, he continued working on me and I farted. I embarrassingly apologized and he said it was ok and kept going. I then continued to fart, and I had to stop. FML
Today, in the middle of sex, my husband accidentally headbutted me, almost knocking me unconscious. FML
Today, I walked in on my husband having sex with the shower wall. When I got in the shower with him he immediately went soft. FML
Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML
Today, while having sex with my husband, I was tired so a lot more of a starfish than I usually am. My husband came sooner and harder than he ever had, and declared it the best sex we've had. FML
Today, whilst having sex, my husband screamed out a man's name. FML
Today, while having sex with my husband, he accidentally elbowed me in the face. I don't know which is worse: that he didn't stop to see if I was OK, or that it seemed to turn him on and he climaxed immediately after he'd hit me. FML
Today, while having sex with my husband, he went soft. When I asked him what happened he said, "I'm about to fall asleep." He then plopped down on my chest and began to snore. FML
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Top comments
Charles900 16
I'd give him an "A" for effort.
tehman117 21
it's the tbought that counts.
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Comments (147)
little_one 20
7 minutes? I'd say something after 10 seconds. It's frustrating for both partners, in my experience men really want to please their lady but a half chub ain't doing it for anyone. Just be supportive and cuddle till he's ready for more fun. I'm sure this is pretty common and happens to a lot of guys at some point but nothing to be ashamed of best to be honest and find another way to make you happy. Good Luck OP
thunderniron 22
At least he tried.
MELKOZAR 27
You sure are some kind of stupid.
IreneProblems 14
I wonder how that actually works when his tent is only half pitched.
dannnngthatsux 19
half. Enough to point but loosely. If he's already in, her walls keep him from flopping around. Best advice I've seen is the 'stop and change to manual'.
RachelRHCP 23
At least he didn't pull out and tell you to go make him a sandwich or just fall asleep and leave you hanging. It's the thought that counts!
seriouslygrowup 11
the fact that he felt he needed to continue to satisfy you because of it shows me that you probably made a big deal about it before. Poor guy
isisorchid 16
At least he tried. A lot of men would've just rolled off and called it good. Don't be such a bitch.
lulinator 40
When that happens to my boyfriend, we both just laugh, and he says he'll make it up to me later. And considering a woman can have a lot of orgasms in one night of sexy time, and a man only gets one (assuming only one round in a night), who cares if this one time you didn't have one. The intimacy of the act is what's more important.
chocolatejunebug 9
Well said! That's how it should be.
collinchildress 12
At least he gave it effort, you self righteous bitch.
LadyGagasNipple 19
This made me LOL hard ?