Today, my husband came too soon during sex. He then tried to pretend it didn't happen and continued. He humped me with a half-erect noodle for about seven minutes before I finally called him out. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my husband shit himself a little during sex, but tried to keep going because he was "so close" and didn’t want to ruin the orgasm. I, of course, shoved him away but it was already down my leg and had stained our cream bedsheets. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He tried to put it in unerected. He was serious. FML
Today, as my husband normally initiates sex and sometimes I want to but always chicken out, I was feeling brave and did so. After he came, he continued working on me and I farted. I embarrassingly apologized and he said it was ok and kept going. I then continued to fart, and I had to stop. FML
Today, in the middle of sex, my husband accidentally headbutted me, almost knocking me unconscious. FML
Today, I walked in on my husband having sex with the shower wall. When I got in the shower with him he immediately went soft. FML
Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML
Today, while having sex with my husband, I was tired so a lot more of a starfish than I usually am. My husband came sooner and harder than he ever had, and declared it the best sex we've had. FML
Today, whilst having sex, my husband screamed out a man's name. FML
Today, while having sex with my husband, he accidentally elbowed me in the face. I don't know which is worse: that he didn't stop to see if I was OK, or that it seemed to turn him on and he climaxed immediately after he'd hit me. FML
Today, while having sex with my husband, he went soft. When I asked him what happened he said, "I'm about to fall asleep." He then plopped down on my chest and began to snore. FML
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Top comments
Charles900 16
I'd give him an "A" for effort.
tehman117 21
it's the tbought that counts.
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Comments (147)
BoundBySpace 19
he should of stopped, admitted to it and finish you off with his hands.. or.. eat you out before sex then when you finish he can stick it in if he is those 5 minute Max type of guys.
Oh_bother44 11
*should HAVE- should've
dannnngthatsux 19
Except not all men will eat out a woman they've already ejaculated in, would you? (Not actually asking) But hands and toys are certainly better than nothing and both partners walk away at least somewhat fulfilled.
Echoa21 18
#84 he was saying to eat her out BEFORE they have sex so that they could both feel satisfied
JoseTheSmexican 11
Well its to late now
BlondePsycho 43
"...it ends not with a bang but with a whimper."
banshee88 18
You win. I don't care what anyone says
JKROB 16
its not his fault that ***** is so bomb he nuts to fast
tranced_ 45
you just ruined noodles for me :(
Miss_Whipped 43
I don't know. It's pretty easy to eat noodles WITHOUT thinking about flaccid penises.
Laughatmypain15 12
If that ruined noodles for you then I think there are bigger issues here..
MattStro 23
At least he was considering you and not just giving up.
magicviper1 15
points for trying?
ADBurns 22
How premature of him. Perhaps he will work harder next time.. Snigger
ktpnothappening 27
At least he didn't just roll over and go to sleep, he tried. Yay for not marrying a db.
Arrow26 4
Firstly, everyone laughing at the guy and acting like they have never came fast is a liar. Second, sometimes doing what your husband did gets another boner going. Or your mouth could. If you really just lay there, its your fault as well.
Myo_fml 20
I'm female and I'll even attest to coming too soon (I try to keep going, but I get uncomfortably sensitive and normally have to stop).
ScottLucky 18
Dude! You're awesome!
the_aspect 28
F for execution and or having an half erected noodle.