Today, my husband came too soon during sex. He then tried to pretend it didn't happen and continued. He humped me with a half-erect noodle for about seven minutes before I finally called him out. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband shit himself a little during sex, but tried to keep going because he was "so close" and didn’t want to ruin the orgasm. I, of course, shoved him away but it was already down my leg and had stained our cream bedsheets. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He tried to put it in unerected. He was serious. FML
Today, as my husband normally initiates sex and sometimes I want to but always chicken out, I was feeling brave and did so. After he came, he continued working on me and I farted. I embarrassingly apologized and he said it was ok and kept going. I then continued to fart, and I had to stop. FML
Today, in the middle of sex, my husband accidentally headbutted me, almost knocking me unconscious. FML
Today, I walked in on my husband having sex with the shower wall. When I got in the shower with him he immediately went soft. FML
Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML
Today, while having sex with my husband, I was tired so a lot more of a starfish than I usually am. My husband came sooner and harder than he ever had, and declared it the best sex we've had. FML
Today, whilst having sex, my husband screamed out a man's name. FML
Today, while having sex with my husband, he accidentally elbowed me in the face. I don't know which is worse: that he didn't stop to see if I was OK, or that it seemed to turn him on and he climaxed immediately after he'd hit me. FML
Today, while having sex with my husband, he went soft. When I asked him what happened he said, "I'm about to fall asleep." He then plopped down on my chest and began to snore. FML
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Top comments
Charles900 16
I'd give him an "A" for effort.
tehman117 21
it's the tbought that counts.
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Comments (147)
Nat3_2020 16
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
That's gotta suck?
Mauskau 36
Well no, they humped instead of sucking.
saizml 9
Well sucking may have been involved
fifi125 21
It's a hard-knock life for you
thatguynamedsky 32
wasnt for about seven minutes
BlondePsycho 43
More like a soft-knock
1PersonIsMyWorld 22
He was trying so hard to please u..
teentee401 37
Seems like he wasn't trying very hard at all
AcieMcG 21
*hard not life ;p
NicholasLanier 12
At least he tried though
Isandri 29
true that, my ex bf wouldn't ever care abt my pleasure so.. its very nice of your husband OP :)
cristy91 33
Yeah, that's true, but there's other ways to satisfy. Next time just say oops, laugh, and use the other skills rather than keep trying
sturschaedel 27
31, good thing he's an ex then.
bgodbold 7
Probably why he's your ex right?
Llama_Face89 34
101- at least part of the reason
tehman117 21
it's the tbought that counts.
Zebediabolical 45
I always thought it was the thought that counted more.
Charles900 16
I'd give him an "A" for effort.
Wizardo 34
"D" for execution though.
Ilmoran 20
But the execution didn't contain enough D.
lnheritance 19
I give the man an A. OP shouldn't really complain about it though, men aren't made to last longer than women.
invadermaythe1st 35
I think it didn't have enough S, but then that's my opinion ;o
WhoCouldIBe 11
But that's an "easy A"
Daevas 18
But he most likely got a 'J' instead xD
Leprekhaun 14
F for 'flacid'
Miss_Whipped 43
Stop with the goddamn alphabet. Please.
Pep010 2
K.
FitFriday 32
Y
0x48656C6C6F 13
S
Eyeslick 33
No the problem is that it's not hard;)
paintedchocolate 30
Well, you gotta at least appreciate the thought.
gc327072 31
Don't be so tough on him, he's only trying to please you…
LOLouis_fml 24
She should be softer on him...
mattrd_fml 31
no, she waited 7 minutes to call him out on it.
Llama_Face89 34
Read, dude.