Today, my husband came too soon during sex. He then tried to pretend it didn't happen and continued. He humped me with a half-erect noodle for about seven minutes before I finally called him out. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband shit himself a little during sex, but tried to keep going because he was "so close" and didn’t want to ruin the orgasm. I, of course, shoved him away but it was already down my leg and had stained our cream bedsheets. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He tried to put it in unerected. He was serious. FML
Today, as my husband normally initiates sex and sometimes I want to but always chicken out, I was feeling brave and did so. After he came, he continued working on me and I farted. I embarrassingly apologized and he said it was ok and kept going. I then continued to fart, and I had to stop. FML
Today, in the middle of sex, my husband accidentally headbutted me, almost knocking me unconscious. FML
Today, I walked in on my husband having sex with the shower wall. When I got in the shower with him he immediately went soft. FML
Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML
Today, while having sex with my husband, I was tired so a lot more of a starfish than I usually am. My husband came sooner and harder than he ever had, and declared it the best sex we've had. FML
Today, whilst having sex, my husband screamed out a man's name. FML
Today, while having sex with my husband, he accidentally elbowed me in the face. I don't know which is worse: that he didn't stop to see if I was OK, or that it seemed to turn him on and he climaxed immediately after he'd hit me. FML
Today, while having sex with my husband, he went soft. When I asked him what happened he said, "I'm about to fall asleep." He then plopped down on my chest and began to snore. FML
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Top comments
Charles900 16
I'd give him an "A" for effort.
tehman117 21
it's the tbought that counts.
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Comments (147)
ShatteredPulse 15
Nah he went soft on her :/
Drosophila82 18
Noodle? Somebody watches shin chan
stickerm3000 4
can i just be the first one to say that i think it's disgusting for fml to post this. you're sexual activity is yours to keep private. I wouldn't tell you about mine why do i want to hear about yours? I wouldn't. and i don't.
random_funnygirl 20
It's the effort that counts... atleast he was trying to please you... !!!!
Vegetarian27 24
Gotta learn how to shoot pool with a rope
SadSouthernBell 18
Warning... Pervy old lady tips... Help the man build some stamina. Give him a few minute breather. Maybe an intimate bath and he should be ready quite soon for another round. If all else fails, bring in the artillery for bedroom fun (AKA BOB's, battery operated boyfriends). I'm pretty sure he won't complain.
khoov19 20
I like the way you think...wise words frim a wise woman
jazopalchris06 21
I nearly died at the word "noodle" ????
plopoctogon 5
At least he tried. Sometimes is happens. I've done it im not gonna lie.
ladybugz23 13
ah Ive been there. it sucks
ouijacorn 9
I hope you weren't too harsh about "calling him out"; I'm sure it's already embarrassing enough and what he could use is your support.