Today, my husband came too soon during sex. He then tried to pretend it didn't happen and continued. He humped me with a half-erect noodle for about seven minutes before I finally called him out. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my husband shit himself a little during sex, but tried to keep going because he was "so close" and didn’t want to ruin the orgasm. I, of course, shoved him away but it was already down my leg and had stained our cream bedsheets. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He tried to put it in unerected. He was serious. FML
Today, as my husband normally initiates sex and sometimes I want to but always chicken out, I was feeling brave and did so. After he came, he continued working on me and I farted. I embarrassingly apologized and he said it was ok and kept going. I then continued to fart, and I had to stop. FML
Today, in the middle of sex, my husband accidentally headbutted me, almost knocking me unconscious. FML
Today, I walked in on my husband having sex with the shower wall. When I got in the shower with him he immediately went soft. FML
Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML
Today, while having sex with my husband, I was tired so a lot more of a starfish than I usually am. My husband came sooner and harder than he ever had, and declared it the best sex we've had. FML
Today, whilst having sex, my husband screamed out a man's name. FML
Today, while having sex with my husband, he accidentally elbowed me in the face. I don't know which is worse: that he didn't stop to see if I was OK, or that it seemed to turn him on and he climaxed immediately after he'd hit me. FML
Today, while having sex with my husband, he went soft. When I asked him what happened he said, "I'm about to fall asleep." He then plopped down on my chest and began to snore. FML
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Top comments
Charles900 16
I'd give him an "A" for effort.
tehman117 21
it's the tbought that counts.
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Comments (147)
sassy2085 16
He was trying give him a break. Some guys come roll over and go to sleep.
Fraggled 5
More like "Today, I came too soon during sex. My wife hadn't finished so I kept going even though I was only half erect. She waited seven minutes before 'calling me out on it'. My wife is mad that I tried to please her in bed."
Zebediabolical 45
This is pretty much what I took away from this FML too.
crazycly 7
give him A for effort. I always go down first. That way. If i fire to soon. She doesnt mind. Works a treat :)
yescry 12
At least he tried
badgercheese94 16
You sound like a bitchy wife, to be honest. I mean, come on. Sometimes sex can be awkward and uncomfortable sometimes, but to post this all online like this, pretty much publically berating him, shows some issues regarding respect in your relationship.
amileah13 26
Hey at least he tried to make you ******. Some men would just stop and walk away
Joshawott 21
A lot of men would have simply pulled out, said "I'm done" and went to sleep. At least he tried to keep on going for your sake.
RedPillSucks 33
next time, tell him to use his dick instead of a noodle
midjigirl 13
Everyone saying "at least he tried"..couldn't he have tried a different way? If he knows he's soft it's not like it's going to do much for his wife anyways. So what if he came too soon, but he could have done something effective instead of trying to keep going with a limp penis.
classicsparkles 17
Pushing rope.