Today, my husband came too soon during sex. He then tried to pretend it didn't happen and continued. He humped me with a half-erect noodle for about seven minutes before I finally called him out. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband shit himself a little during sex, but tried to keep going because he was "so close" and didn’t want to ruin the orgasm. I, of course, shoved him away but it was already down my leg and had stained our cream bedsheets. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He tried to put it in unerected. He was serious. FML
Today, as my husband normally initiates sex and sometimes I want to but always chicken out, I was feeling brave and did so. After he came, he continued working on me and I farted. I embarrassingly apologized and he said it was ok and kept going. I then continued to fart, and I had to stop. FML
Today, in the middle of sex, my husband accidentally headbutted me, almost knocking me unconscious. FML
Today, I walked in on my husband having sex with the shower wall. When I got in the shower with him he immediately went soft. FML
Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML
Today, while having sex with my husband, I was tired so a lot more of a starfish than I usually am. My husband came sooner and harder than he ever had, and declared it the best sex we've had. FML
Today, whilst having sex, my husband screamed out a man's name. FML
Today, while having sex with my husband, he accidentally elbowed me in the face. I don't know which is worse: that he didn't stop to see if I was OK, or that it seemed to turn him on and he climaxed immediately after he'd hit me. FML
Today, while having sex with my husband, he went soft. When I asked him what happened he said, "I'm about to fall asleep." He then plopped down on my chest and began to snore. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Charles900 16
I'd give him an "A" for effort.
tehman117 21
it's the tbought that counts.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (147)
anonymouse5000 12
So FML for that? Why would you post that here. People seem to think this is twitter or something. Post something that's devastating, not day to day crap.
kpetrovski 24
In a way, that's kind of sweet of him :p No?
Grenith 21
7 minutes of unerect sex? I'd say he's at least trying.
shalombeast 4
half erect noodle hahahah
bun_key0_1 20
Why are you calling it a noodle?
Dustmop 18
Aw that poor darlin! It sounds sweet of him for still trying, He wasn't just thinking of himself.
Perry85 42
At least he tried to still let you finish....Got to give him credit for that...
justsayingbeach 15
Who's to say you didn't cum soon enough? How rude and unloving you ungrateful woman
Jjjjjjjam24 3
That’s kind of shit I hate in a woman, if he did that more than once in the times you’ve had sex then I’d ask him about it. But what you did ******* killed his self conscience
Jjjjjjjam24 3
* esteem