Today, my husband came too soon during sex. He then tried to pretend it didn't happen and continued. He humped me with a half-erect noodle for about seven minutes before I finally called him out. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband shit himself a little during sex, but tried to keep going because he was "so close" and didn’t want to ruin the orgasm. I, of course, shoved him away but it was already down my leg and had stained our cream bedsheets. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He tried to put it in unerected. He was serious. FML
Today, as my husband normally initiates sex and sometimes I want to but always chicken out, I was feeling brave and did so. After he came, he continued working on me and I farted. I embarrassingly apologized and he said it was ok and kept going. I then continued to fart, and I had to stop. FML
Today, in the middle of sex, my husband accidentally headbutted me, almost knocking me unconscious. FML
Today, I walked in on my husband having sex with the shower wall. When I got in the shower with him he immediately went soft. FML
Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML
Today, while having sex with my husband, I was tired so a lot more of a starfish than I usually am. My husband came sooner and harder than he ever had, and declared it the best sex we've had. FML
Today, whilst having sex, my husband screamed out a man's name. FML
Today, while having sex with my husband, he accidentally elbowed me in the face. I don't know which is worse: that he didn't stop to see if I was OK, or that it seemed to turn him on and he climaxed immediately after he'd hit me. FML
Today, while having sex with my husband, he went soft. When I asked him what happened he said, "I'm about to fall asleep." He then plopped down on my chest and began to snore. FML
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Top comments
Charles900 16
I'd give him an "A" for effort.
tehman117 21
it's the tbought that counts.
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Comments (147)
twice_shy2015 1
I don't know what "calling him out" entails, but I fully support telling him to knock it off if whatever he's doing isn't working for you.
ApplePie1994 27
That is when you keep his noodle from going al dente ;) Bella note!
SueAnn23 8
why would you wait for 7 minutes to say anything??
dangousity 21
He came right on time....
chosha_fml 27
Why are people lauding him? I can't even believe you let that go on for seven minutes.
messymessiah 11
at least he tried and he didn't want to stop just cos he'd finished. hope you weren't too harsh on him. also it means you were just that good ;-)
Matt32179 8
It's really hard to keep going for the male after ejaculation, there's a part of us I forgot what it's called that makes us relax and stop and don't want to keep going unlike the female who can have multiple ejaculations. Give him probs it's also really hard to keep going.
Lopmon 7
Aww poor guy.. Gotta love him for trying ??
caity89 9
I don't know your situation. But half erect isn't always bad my husband can get me off with a half Chubb. Just put it against your ******** and rub away. Try that next time. Hope it helps
DrHothead 15
The wife is supposed to squeeze forehead when he's about to come- that's how you treat premature ejaculation, not even kidding