chewybarseventy
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
My little buddy
Today, I walked in on my husband in our room completely naked. At first I thought he was waiting for me so we could have sex. He hadn't seen me yet, so I started to undress too to surprise him. Then I saw that he had drawn a face on his penis and he was talking to it. FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I walked in on my husband jacking off to a photo of himself. FML
anne
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my husband called me to the bedroom to show me something. This "something" was him demonstrating his seemingly well-trained ability to accurately type out a sentence on my phone using nothing but his erect penis. FML
CALIdime_15
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I watched my boyfriend have a full on conversation with his penis. He also talks to his penis nicer than he talks to me. FML
lovingthis
Largo, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I walked in on my grandfather smiling at his penis. FML
Sarahir
🌶️ Spicy
Classic Dave
Today, I walked in on my husband masturbating into the kitchen sink. FML
eric
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Great chat!
Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML
Anonymous
Winnipeg, Canada 🌶️ Spicy
Communication tool
Today, my husband let me know he felt I was ignoring him by jabbing me in the right ear with his erect penis while I was Skyping with my mum overseas. FML
kitkat545
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Revealing
Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
Close
Today, my husband decided it's completely fine to walk around the house with his penis out in front of his mom. FML
Top comments
sjisje 0
did the penis talk back?
allenrotstein 0
c'mon, this is kinda funny..
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Comments (191)
BuiikiKaesu_fml 0
lol.
matrasveer 1
at least he wasn't applying it on another woman. And like you're so much better to talk to anyway.
ticknaft 0
my penis is my best friend too.. no biggy. ;)
LOL_Noobs 0
and when ur having sex he's going to talk to ur ******.
Molord1 0
nbd
marinus_fml 20
haha number 6 not picking on you, but is your penis 'no biggy'? ok, so I know that's not what he meant...
ticknaft 0
you know what I meant =P
bella_171193 0
srsly no. 11 you comment every fml
ticknaft 0
17, most people do..
marinus_fml 20
17, at the moment it's 6:45 pm, just had dinner, and I'm laying in bed reading my text book. the previous lot of fml's came out at 3pm, while I was sitting In a rather boring lecture :) the ones before that came out at 7 am, when I just woke up :) ( I'm a phone junkie, i check it as soon as I wake up :) ) the next lot of fml's come out at 10pm, and you bet I'll comment on them too :))
slatter 1
I don't see whats so bad about commenting on each fml, half the fun on this site is in the comments
Trupe 3
Ha that's completely normal. Some people even name theirs. I call mine junior. We have rather interesting conversations as a matter of fact. I mean it is man (and womans) best friend ;)
andruha1123 5
not an fml for sure...
areforever 0
He was giving it a pep talk. :)
bella_171193 0
it's 10:00 at night here
crazyazzkike 0
penis never nags or talks back! :)
43bubba34 25
I can't say I've talked to mine, but I see this as a FML. Get over it.
43bubba34 25
*don't
1121osu2110 0
That's just funny! I would have laughed instead of writing an fml about it...
Brittney_E 0
wow.... this changes my perspective on everything...
swimmerstud 7
was he petting it to?
allie198 0
it is 10 in the mmorning heree
heynow00wellthen 0
sounds to me like your husband has a sense of humor and you need to listen up a bit. besides, he and his penis were prolly in need of some bonding time. ;)
xcl0wdx 0
LMAO!
KSk8r14 0
Did he get white stuff on his face?
robertdr 0
husband:"come on little guy, wake up, tell me whats wrong" pipi:"you are a jerk for sticking me in so many things" *wewe goes limp*
ucofresh 4
46, You remind me of a young Glenn Beck! No offense.. Just caught my attention. :)
Hevzy 0
Roflmao - Time to take your husband to the mental home it's gonna be hard but you knew it was gonna have to happen soon, especially after he shaved your guinea pig and dyed it pink.
KatanaYukii 0
lmao That's what you get for being stupid in your choice of men
ReconX 2
lol every male does it fyhl cause u don't got common sense
twinny_sc 13
Not a big deal, my boyfriend talks to his. I find it funny. Lighten up OP.
Jafozza 0
YDI for boring your husband to the point where he'd rather talk to his willy than you.
chico1014 0
lol no biggy? you might want to rephrase that.
Griggy 0
Maybe you're not giving him enough.
iBurnTrees 6
well does that mean it's small trupe??? haha no jk
emmanizzer 6
as long as he didn't seriously think that his penis was talking back it's not a problem
drcool41 0
um am I the only one who realizes this is already on fml, I'm not saying it's fake, just possibly
kasre 0
umm, eww. That's just disgusting.
Y_U_19029 0
why didn't you get in the conversation? 2 is a couple, 3 is a crowd.
Y_U_19029 0
you didn't join the conversation? you know what they say "3's a crowd"
priscilla_28 5
Did it have a name? And was it Bob?
Y_U_19029 0
140, that's such a typical name, my turtles name is bob
priscilla_28 5
I always wanted to own something / someone name Bob or Larry. :)
imcomplicated 0
hahahah!(:
Mr_Macho 0
130 but fours company
Mr_Macho 0
130 but fours company
Mr_Macho 0
130 but fours company
Obelia 3
mmmm a man who talks to his penis is the type of man I wanna be with...heh, I'd talk to his penis too
thescottymo 4
WTF? also, the first comment couldn't have been better than 'lol'?
wellshii 1
Is that a crime?and to op,did you offer them coffee?
Ames19 6
he can comment anytime he wants unless not negative talk
david12z 0
It's not disgusting(almost) every guys best friends are penis and dog
allenrotstein 0
c'mon, this is kinda funny..
LauraTheKiwi 0
kinda? this is really funny :')
lickmyjock 0
I talk to mine too. Sometimes he gets choked up and I have to force it out of him. His name is mister by the way.
KingDingALing 9
hahahahahaha good one
derkaderk 1
haha :)
CitizenSnipz 0
Mine's name is Big Will. He's a wrestler. o.O
refticon 31
tried to see her profile 5/4/2016
xaqori 0
maybe that's what happens when he's alone for too long...
adixinc 0
everyone does it..
LTHoratioCaine 4
playing... With YOUR food... YEEEEAAAHHHHH!!!! (That was bad)
gumzy 6
a penis is like a flower, the more talk it gets ... the more it will blossom ! tell your husband to keep it up! your sex life is gonna get spicy!
LightningLadyy 0
Yeeeeeeaaah, okaay!
sjisje 0
did the penis talk back?
Doortje 30
That's what I'd like to know!
Ludii_fml 0
Ahaha "Hey dude, I'm sorry for making you **** that saggy ******, but don't worry it'll soon change! The neighbor is a nice lookin' guy. You into anal?" *penis goes uppp*
Maelific 0
^lol
bigredmonkeybutt 30
lmao
allie198 0
lmfao
slatter 1
xD
varunsolanki89 0
May be u don;t talk enough
suffokateslowly 0
Wait wait wait...so your not supposed to talk to it?? damn ive been going about this all wrong ha
JustHereBecause 0
what was he saying? o.o
dgaf247 0
please be big please be big please be big!!
Ludii_fml 0
22, love the cape. You look so bearly.
xxAHmazingxx 0
I agree. great look, 22.