Today, I met my new roommate. She has a life-size cardboard cutout of Justin Bieber in her room, which I've seen her having actual conversations with twice already. I have to share a bedroom with this psycho. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I met my new roommate. I also met her stuffed animals, who introduced themselves to me. My roommate makes inanimate objects talk. FML
Today, I met my new college room-mate. He then introduced me to his imaginary friend. FML
Today, I found out who my randomly assigned roommate was. Out of 10,000+ people, I just happen to get assigned a girl who threatened to kill me. FML
Today, I found out that my new roommate is dating my ex-boyfriend. FML
Today, I woke up to find my new roommate staring straight at me. She then went on to say, "I love how you sleep," and continued to stare. I live in a residence off campus and I've already changed roommates twice this year. I'm stuck with a person who stares at me sleep for the next two years. FML
Today, my new room-mate moved in. She spent over an hour obsessively searching the place for god knows what kind of secret recording devices, and now aggressively demands that I taste-test all of her pre-prepared meals to make sure they're not poisoned. FML
Today, I woke up to my psycho roommate trying to baptize me in my sleep. FML
Today, I found a Justin Bieber shrine in my daughter's closet. FML
Today, my new roommate, who seemed to get along with me just fine up until now, has requested to switch to a different room. Apparently, I was making racist comments in my sleep. FML
Today, I woke up to my creepy new roommate licking my cheek. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
If you see her trying to duct tape a banana to the cutout's crotch, I suggest you find somewhere else to sleep for a while.
Catkam623 27
Isn't that grounds to be locked away?
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Comments (98)
Catkam623 27
Isn't that grounds to be locked away?
Charmillionaire 13
The fact that she likes him is enough.
bbozic2 6
She's got that Bieber fever!
Curtar2 18
kill her. kill her with fire.
Blackcatluck 19
Why don't you do it bulbacharmander!
Sekkaichi 12
@11, Pokemons don't talk silly. Remember, you're a charmander.
gracehi 33
11, I think you mean "squirbulbamander."
Zimmington 21
22- Meoth, Slowking, Psyduck, & MewTwo(technically)
Sekkaichi 12
I remember that Meowth, Slowking, and Mewtwo talking in the anime, but not Psyduck. Well, I don't watch the anime anymore after Hoenn.
chosha_fml 27
Might be easier to kill the cutout with fire.
tootsie68 22
Time to move out - which judging by your username, you are already on your way there!
slacker_69 6
I wonder if that is a coincidence or she planned that?
NoDontKillMe 19
^ You would know if you posted FMLs.
DocBastard 40
If you see her trying to duct tape a banana to the cutout's crotch, I suggest you find somewhere else to sleep for a while.
Welshite 40
That mental image is almost too horrific to comprehend. You see these tears, Doc? Yeah, you caused them.
skyeyez9 25
Doc, lets be realistic here. This is Justin Bieber, so she needs to tape a baby gherkin pickle to his crotch. That is more realistic than a banana.
lilhellian 27
No, she needs to cut out a hole and put on a gherkin.
PenguinBitch 44
That reminds me of an Internet photo of a girl with her arse against a Beiber cutout. Smh
mikuxxhatsune 32
Haha
KareBear7364 5
You should take it and burn it! In a safe place of course ;) And just tell her that he had a high fever, and didn't make it...
skyeyez9 25
And explain to her that he died from a rare condition called Spontaneous Bieber Combustion.
doumtabarnack 12
You better put a little something in her glass before bed just to make sure she doesn't wake up in the middle of the night to stare at you
Blackcatluck 19
I wouldn't suggest that, i think she will take the blow instead of the cutout....wait a minute that would make an awesome FML!
CaptMurdock 25
Maybe you could "accidentally" set it on fire.
gracehi 33
Oh no! I accidentally poured gasoline all over your Justin Beiber cut out, then pointed this flame thrower at it and pulled the trigger. My bad.
7yzzFML 17
Yep. Burn it.
groovycrazyjoe 18
Baby Baby Baby Oh!!!! lol
wjh100 13
thank you that song is now running through my head just what I wanted on my anniversary
hryffff 11
That sounds very wrong
EVnIAS 13
I can safely read this comment and not be afraid to get the song stuck in my head cause to this day I have never heard any of his song! I feel proud!
CaptMurdock 25
You are a truly lucky man #42
RoseBlack123 37
Run. Now.