Today, while camping, I was given the sex talk, along with visuals created with marshmallows and a roasting fork. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was out camping with my boyfriend and his friends. I asked my boyfriend to give me a roasted marshmallow, asking him if it was cooled down and he said yes. I put it in my mouth and it was piping hot. They all laughed to the point of tears, all while videoing me screaming and running in agony. FML
Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML
Today, I came back from a hike to see my trailer rocking, as well as some strange but obvious noises coming from it. I went camping alone. Two strangers were in my camper having sex. FML
Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML
Today, I went camping. The night was calm and quiet, so we went to our separate tents to sleep. I closed my eyes, listening to the distant waves and my father playing porn in the tent beside me. FML
Today, my mom tried giving me the sex talk. Her version of "the talk" consisted of making me watch videos of guys jacking off and reassuring me that "it's natural." FML
Today, I went camping and shared a tent with this girl I have been sleeping with here and there for a year. To impress her, I popped a certain male enhancement supplement. Thirty minutes later I found out she was on her period. What a long night. FML
Today, while camping alone in an isolated area, I was woken up at 3 a.m. by a fellow camper, who then offered me a crayfish and a romantic beach walk as a way of flirtation. FML
Today, for my mom's birthday, we went camping. At night, my mom and her boyfriend decided to have "Birthday Sex" because they thought everyone was asleep. Trying to not make it awkward for me and my friend that I brought along, I kept still. Soon, I heard my friend going to town on herself. FML
Today, I got the sex talk from my dad. It wouldn't have been so bad if he hadn't said, "It's not the size of the stick, it's how you use it." I'm a girl. FML
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Top comments
Kallian_fml 21
I wish you'd given us more detail, OP, my imagination is terrible!
Cian_1 28
I really want you to re-enact this, film it and give us a link. Sounds hilarious. :P
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Comments (57)
Excelz 10
That's hot.
Kallian_fml 21
I wish you'd given us more detail, OP, my imagination is terrible!
lnheritance 19
Soft, melting, milk chocolate between the sweet sticky marshmallows pillows and graham crackers. Mmmm. I mean, I'm sorry..
_ashole 10
I was sitting here trying to figure out how that played out... and then I read # 9s comment.
Kallian_fml 21
Damn it #9! Now I don't know if I'm hungry or horny...
Cortezthe1st 23
Just picture what the melted marshmallows represented.
Just_A_Tree 20
The marshmallow melts in satisfaction as the red hot roaster penetrated it and made it immediately sticky. As the marshmallow is slowly turned in different positions, it gets closer and closer to finishing. And when it's done, it leaves a white sticky goo on the roaster, and if done properly, the inside of the marshmallow. Is that enough detail for you, or is it still not enough to paint a mental image?
Kallian_fml 21
That was beautiful #22. Does marshmallow **** exist?
SystemofaBlink41 27
I am so sure it does, if you look hard enough.
RedPillSucks 33
@#25 see rule 34
zach205 24
Well fork is only 1 letter away...
Cian_1 28
Ooh, how do you 'furk' someone?
myanichole 22
Or 2
sstahpp 33
Hahahahaha...furk
zach205 24
Wow, I failed there, I deserve some thumbs down for that *facepalm* I give everyone the right to call me an idiot for that
opticeez 7
Idiot
jackthekeeper 24
ah fock me... it kinda works with the right accent
Cian_1 28
I really want you to re-enact this, film it and give us a link. Sounds hilarious. :P
TCRII 30
Was the marshmallow on the fork burning in fire for premarital sex?
Fymlife 14
Well at least the person giving the "talk" wanted to make sure you were educated about safe sex!
ShadowGenius 12
Is it weird that I want marshmallows now?
xleanne_aLly 23
Nope, I want smores ♡.
haddiej 21
That depends on what you want them for...
ShadowGenius 12
What a consenting man and marshmallow do is their business.
whycantisignup 24
Not gonna lie, that's forked up.
ashieme2009 12
According to #3 that's "furked" up.
quinny_1024 18
One way or another you are going to eventually learn about it
lizabethp 11
That's hilarious and hopefully you will feel the same eventually. Though I understand now how awkward it was but may be useful.