Today, my husband and I were getting it on when we heard a little giggle. I put on my robe and looked outside my room to find that no one was there. So we continued. I later called my seven year old son and out he came crawling from under the bed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex while his parents were out. They came home early, ran upstairs, and knocked on the door. Scrambling to find our clothes, we gave up and just hid under the blankets. They barged in, drunk and laughing, and tried ripping the covers off. FML
Today, my husband and I put our children to bed a little earlier than usual, so we could have some sexy time. Immediately following my full-blown orgasm, I rolled over, only to see my wide-eyed son peeking over the top of the mattress. FML
Today, in the morning, my wife and I were having hot but silent sex on my futon while our 3 year-old slept in his crib. It was going great until my turn to come when I released a loud, "AARRGHHHHHH". My son promptly got up, took one look at me and his mother's back, then promptly went back to sleep without a word. FML
Today, I was getting frisky with my husband under the covers in bed. My son decided to run into our room and cannonball on top of my husband. This startled him, which caused him to bite me. FML
Today, the wife and I were in the middle of having sex. She was bent over and I was taking her to pound town. I look over to see my 3 year-old son standing in the doorway, humping air. FML
Today, my son climbed into our bed because he'd had a nightmare. He and my wife spent hours whispering and giggling like they were at a slumber party. Cute, until the next morning, when they were both tired, grumpy, and uncooperative. FML
Today, my husband and I were having sex. It was stormy outside, and when lightning flashed through the window, he screamed like a little girl and scrambled off the bed. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I snuck into the bathroom together at his house for a quickie. Just as we unzipped our pants, his step-dad knocked on the door. Panicking, I jumped into the closet to hide. When his step-dad came in, he went to put some towels away. In the closet. FML
Today, I was taking a shower when my husband suddenly came in naked. I thought we were gonna have some fun, and so tried to be sexy. He took a quick shower and left. FML
Today, I came home to find my husband and our 4-year-old son simultaneously peeing off the second-floor balcony. My husband was giggling like a little girl. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
phobiaoffears 0
He laughs now, but later on in life he'll definitely regret doing that.
insensitivity_ki 0
He is so going to smoke crack...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (167)
24788 7
Haha, he owns
Edenbeam 19
YDI for not knowing where he was beforehand.
xanth 0
The comments on this site...I should just stop reading them altogether. Do you people honestly think the kid is going to be messed up for life over that? Grow up. Hell our ancestors lived in one room huts and screwed all the time with kids in the room. Actually in retrospect these comments aren't as bad as I should have expected, as there have been no, "OMG you fuked with you kid in the room, you should not be a parent, your going to hell and your kid will be a child molestor!"
Jaywin 3
Thank you for being sensible. It seems everyone else who comments on this site is a junior Dr.Phil.
babybarb 0
So what if our ancestors did this and that? You actually think its not that bad if your parents are ******* in the same room?? You're disgusting.
kukus92 0
Agree with #27. People act like sex is a bad thing. I understand that the kid is young, but this american culture sickens me sometimes. (Please don't respond with, "well then why are you living here?" because i don't really have a choice.) Everything is so ridiculously censored here because this government thinks that people's heads will explode. In Europe there are commercials with topless women on television for ***** sake. You don't see sexual dysfunctions or scarred people. There actually probably more normal.
PTERONOPHOBIA 0
thank you 27/28. I'm shocked by the huge number of people saying this kid is going to be *~*~*SCARRRED 4 LYFE~*~**~
Jaywin 3
I was getting pissed off reading these comments until I got to 27/28. This pussification of America has got to stop.
absurdliaisons 0
Agreed, 100%. OP: Pretty embarrassing, but nothing that a mature, age appropriate, conversation can't smooth over.
regalarius 0
Agreed; the kid's not going to break because he sees sex. Sex is something that normal people do. He might wind up being normal, though, we should beat him before that happens.
AdamGD 0
Wtf?? Why has nobody else noticed the fact that the seven year old kid thought it was FUNNY that his parents were having sex?!?!?!?! That kid is sort of creepy if he giggles at his parents having sex!! I mean really, at that age, i was disgusted by girls and looked away when people kissed on tv! And he is hiding under the bed watching you have sex??????
HeWhoEatsAll423 0
Maybe he didn't know what was going on and was just laughing because he thought he had hid so well.
xNephilim 19
Most 7 year old kids don't really know about sex yet or if they do, they wouldn't immediately recognize the sounds the bed makes or the motions. I'm thinking the kid was all excited because, like the commenter above me said, he hid so well that his parents couldn't find him.
redbluegreen 41
Think about it. A seven year old isn't going to understand what his parents are really doing. I had an idea of what sex was, and I'd walked in on it a few times, but I didn't understand it. It was just an "oh" to me. Being under the bed, I don't think the kid saw anything, so he probably thought they were just doing weird things and making strange noises. He was hiding and probably not paying very much attention. It's probably more like, "Oh mommy and daddy don't know I'm here... hehe" If he's getting off on it, there's a different problem entirely. And yes, a long time ago people did have one room homes and had sex in front of their kids, but in most places, not just America, that's no longer the case. Every culture is going to look at it differently then the other, and really, you have to just accept that you're not always going to see eye-to-eye with someone.
MorlekEngel 0
I disagree with no.27 I Lin on Europe, and no we have censoring to, just no like the US. Nothing in a plublic place where children can see, and a watershe on tv. Unforuntatelty our drink drive ads are shown all the time and they are pretty bad. Besides, ibknew about sex from an early age and I'm fine, though my parents always waited tip I was in bed or in my grandparents!!!!
kerrygirl 13
no it says he's from Ireland...english is his first language!! he's from Cork though so that explains it.....
SP63_fml 0
Actually, last time I was over there Celtic was the native language..... Maybe it's changed?
mattmag 0
Lol how many centuries ago was that?
kerrygirl 13
im Irish and 1)celtic??really???....its gaelic....nice try trying to be clever though and 2) no one speaks it anyway......everyone speaks english......so dont say u were in Ireland when u obviously were not
ShenziSixaxis 0
He'll probably regret it later in life if he remembers it. On the other hand, you won't have to explain sex to him. xD
kukus92 0
was # 32 drunk when they wrote this?
ohhdamn 0
#32 obviously said that she lives in Europe, maybe not Britain or another english speaking language.
Sucks_to_be_you 0
Practice.
Asdas_fml 0
Nice fail for you. Check before you correct someone, dumbass. practise verb British spelling of practice . Why so fail?
Remegy 3
please tell me that you called out your son's name AFTER you finished the sex... cause i think this is all messed up enough