Today, I was getting frisky with my husband under the covers in bed. My son decided to run into our room and cannonball on top of my husband. This startled him, which caused him to bite me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend tried to be sexy and take off my clothes with his teeth. He ended up biting my leg. FML
Today, my husband and I were getting frisky. All was going well until I decided to go down on him, causing him to freak out, thinking I was going for his butt, ending the night with a black eye from being knee'd in the face. FML
Today, I had dinner with my boyfriend's family. His 3-year-old nephew came running for a hug. At the last second, he darted past my arms and bit me on the ass. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. We were under the covers, and my little brother thought we were wrestling, so he got on top of the covers and started "wrestling" with us. FML
Today, my husband thought it would be romantic to pick me up and fall on the bed with me while we were kissing. Our faces smashed together as we hit the bed, and my tongue is still bleeding on and off. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my husband, and I tried to do a swift position-change like they do in the movies. I wound up flipping off the bed and busting my nose open on the floor. FML
Today, I woke up to my husband trying to bite my forehead in his sleep. My response? I slapped him hard in the face. What a way to wake up. FML
Today, my husband and I were getting it on when we heard a little giggle. I put on my robe and looked outside my room to find that no one was there. So we continued. I later called my seven year old son and out he came crawling from under the bed. FML
Today, my wife and I were getting intimate for the first time in several months. Then we heard our son yelling from the other room needing my help. He needed me to scratch his foot because the cat was on his lap and he couldn't reach it. FML
Today, I was getting a bit intimate with my boyfriend. Just when things were getting interesting, my dog managed to get into my room. He jumped on the bed and my boyfriend spent the next 20 minutes playing with the dog, while I sat next to him, half naked. FML
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Top comments
mike3775 39
This is a YDI. Lock the bedroom door. I don’t care how horny the wife is, I always lock the bedroom door, even when the kids are not home.
Kyle DE Hildebrand 3
Lock the door next time !!
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Comments (6)
Kyle DE Hildebrand 3
Lock the door next time !!
mike3775 39
This is a YDI. Lock the bedroom door. I don’t care how horny the wife is, I always lock the bedroom door, even when the kids are not home.
rotflqtms_ 21
Earlierx I would have called it a YDI...but I just moved to a place where the doors don't have locks. The only door with a lock is the outside door.
FireMars 14
Is it normal to have locks on bedroom doors, where you guys are from? It's rare to have locks on bedroom doors in UK...unless you install them yourself, which in itself is rare. No idea where OP is from though.
lifeis4me 20
Yeah, you gotta lock your doors. It sounds like your son is small, so he won’t think to knock before walking in 99% of the time
DanielleinDC 34
Next time lock the door. Or put one of those door wedges under it if your interior doors don't have locks.
Cody Vertigo Bonthoux 15
"grounds child from everything for a month"