Today, I was cashiering at Target when an old woman came into my checkout line. Her items? Variety pack of pleasuring condoms, a bottle of KY sensual lube, and two colorful thongs. As I'm scanning these, she leans in and whispers, "I love toys." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to return a shirt to Target. My mom offered to do it for me on her way to work, so I gave her the shirt and receipt. Later, I remembered that on the same receipt I had purchased condoms, lube, and whipped cream. FML
Today, while I was working at a children's toy store, a woman walked in, looked around a bit, then asked if we sold dildos. FML
Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML
Today, a customer walked up to me with a dog toy and said, "I knew one-stop shopping was a thing, but I didn't know you guys carried dildos." FML
Today, I was at the store buying some feminine products. At the cash register, the clerk said to me "Dude, you know those are for girls right?" I am a 30 year old woman. FML
Today, I went out to buy a bottle of wine and some condoms. As the cashier scanned the condoms, she snickered and muttered, "Yeah right." She was right; I really was just desperate to look like I have a sex life. I got so upset that I left my items and walked out with tears in my eyes. FML
Today, I went to the drug store to pick up a few things. After looking for condoms for 15 minutes, I asked the cashier where I could find them. She said they keep them behind the counter due to theft. She refused to sell them to me, because they're for customers who might actually need them. FML
Today, I went grocery shopping with my toddler. At the checkout, I realized that I forgot my wallet at home. As I frantically searched my purse, my toddler shouted, "Mommy, do we need this?" and held up a box of condoms she'd grabbed from a nearby shelf. Everyone stared. FML
Today, the self-checkout machine at the grocery store kept yelling, “PLEASE PLACE ITEM IN BAGGING AREA” while I frantically tried to scan everything. An employee came over and said a bit too loudly, “Ma’am, you have to scan the condoms before bagging them.” Of course there were people around to giggle. FML
Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML
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Top comments
tyranny 0
Old people do have a sex life too, and are usually a bit more open about it than we would like to know.
Glam_fml 0
Yeah, that was kind of inappropriate for her to tell you about it, but good for her for having an exciting sex life at her age. I hope I can be that lucky..
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Comments (172)
nxkftw 0
ugh. that's terrible. fyl.
Humanoid_fml 0
Why? Who cares? How does this affect the OP's life in any way?
NNNOM 1
Ahahahaha! I don't think it's terrible, just hilarious. As long as she didn't start talking about positions, just laugh and brush it off. W/o shuddering.
redbluegreen 41
Of course it happened in Oregon! Haha. You see a lot of crazy shit living here. It was probably just outside of Portland too. :D I can so see this happening. I've heard awful working at Target stories.
lovely997 0
you should myob, for real
hat_fml 0
how is that FML?
jason2468 0
YDI for working at target
gomego87 0
God damn, that now... totally gave me the *Shivers*... ugh.
wintamint101 7
there are some really weird people out there
11colio11 4
ydi for not asking to join in
colliebuddz420 7
In what way does this make people think ydi why is there almost 2000 ydi's?
BeeHappy_fml 0
Ewewewewew SAGGY! How gross! FYL
jason2468 0
bee happy ur a perverted dumb ass
m0tl3ycru3 0
Obviously her husband can't satisfy her anymore.
derpina72 23
Hey hey! Old people can get it too!
insensitivity_ki 0
Why would ANYBODY say that you would deserve that...?
genius_man16 1
YDI for working at Target YDI for being alive YDI for being a woman etc. at least that's all I can think of, FYL OP, FYL indeed
nazooer 11
YDI for replying to be heard
keepitcool 0
faiiilllll
Doorhandle57 0
uhh sexist much?
redbluegreen 41
I hope you guys realize genius_man16 was just giving examples of what a troll would say, right? It's not actually his opinion? I guess you guys can't see or understand how that would work.
Leptailurus 0
Because old people have every right to have sex as young people do. Or will you, when you get older and start to get saggy, stop having sex? :| Personally, I hope when I'm "old" that I still have a sex drive like her.
kukopia 0
It's ageist, not sexist.
ad_infinitum 0
@ 113: Ditto.
itsgen 16
@49 ok u have problems what the **** is wrong with being a woman?!?! and HELLO!!1 whats wrong with ppl like you saing YDI for working at places like walmart and target OMG!! im 14 and even i know what an honstliving is ur jst an insecure bitch!!! who doent know sheitt GROW UP!
sondramcfail 0
He was being sarcastic. Like saying the only reasons trolls could possibly give for putting "YDI".
dabomblyktiktikk 0
135 fails miserably. miserably miserably miserably. and ruins a joke in the process. thats the worst kind of fail.
A_LiST3RR 0
104 - uh, idiot much? a sexist thinks one gender is superior to another. nothing to do with age.
tyranny 0
Old people do have a sex life too, and are usually a bit more open about it than we would like to know.
Mvibes 0
Maybe she was doing that on purpose. The Op couldve made a disgusted face when she saw the items so the old woman decided to mess with her a bit. Some people like to weird others out, why should that change with age? if anything I think it (age) gives you more options/opportunities edit: Directed at #5 sorry.
greendaygirl999 5
If she's old like the Op says, why would she need to use condoms in the first place? Hmm? If she's old, that's assuming she's already gon through menopause.
TheZarola 10
Note: it says PLEASURING condoms. Added pleasure. Also, precaution against STDs?
Epikouros 32
@131: Yep, I look forward to creeping out nurses at my retirement home. Yes, I know, creeping out a nurse would be a tall order.
ILIEKGIRLS 5
OH. MY. GOD.. :/
Glam_fml 0
Yeah, that was kind of inappropriate for her to tell you about it, but good for her for having an exciting sex life at her age. I hope I can be that lucky..
Avenging_Angel 0
I should get a job as a cashier someday, people buy the oddest combinations of stuff :D
Logica42 0
Haha, totally... =/
Rabyd 0
Lol, you wouldn't say that if she were 30 years younger.
AshleyRose784 0
hahaha, the joys of getting old, you lose your filter
kukus92 0
you'll live.
ichikibobivopula 0
no actually the phrase "I love toys" is a spell in witchcraft that gives the victim whatever terrible mental disorder the sayer is intending. Same sort of effect as saying the Lord's prayer backwards. :K