Today, I came home to find my husband and our 4-year-old son simultaneously peeing off the second-floor balcony. My husband was giggling like a little girl. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was working at 5 am at my office desk when I heard trickling water. I ran to the foyer, turned on the light, expecting to see my incontinent 16 year-old golden retriever. Instead, I witnessed my still drunk, high and comatose husband standing at the top of the stairs pissing on the carpet stairs. Again. FML
Today, I woke up to my 8 month old son happy as can be. I could hear him laughing over the monitor. When I walked into the room, he had somehow got his diaper off and was holding onto his new found penis. He thought it was hysterical when it went off and shot urine everywhere. FML
Today, while my husband and I are both stuck in the bathroom from food poisoning, our 3-year-old son is taking advantage of his freedom. All I can hear is banging noises and wild laughter. I'm afraid to leave the bathroom. FML
Today, I was locked out of my house and had to pee. I waited an hour for my boyfriend to come home. When I saw him pull into the driveway, I peed myself in excitement. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to show off one of his favorite skills: Peeing on my ceiling. FML
Today, I found out the guys I live with have an ongoing contest to see if they can hit targets on the inside of the toilet lid with urine when they pee. I could forgive this in my seven-year-old son, but not my forty-year-old husband. FML
Today, I came out of the bathroom and caught my husband peeing against a tree in the backyard. I told him how disgusting that was. He said, "Fine. Back to peeing in the sink." FML
Today, I was watching our home security cameras from work when I saw my husband get home and grab a beer. I activated the camera microphone and told him to put it back and fold the laundry. He flipped off the camera, chugged the beer, and started jacking off on the living room sofa. FML
Today, I caught my 4 year old son yet again trying to drink out of the toilet. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out on his deck out back. When leaving, I heard the sliding glass door open on the upper deck, I froze in the yard to not be seen. Too bad I didn't move. Apparently his dad pees off the deck at night. I had to walk home covered in pee. FML
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Top comments
imavelociraptor 6
Like father like son
ColdplaySucks 18
Cherish the moment, they'll look back at these years with good memories.
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Comments (122)
imavelociraptor 6
Like father like son
Werken247 14
the apple doesn't juice far from the tree
BabySyrq 5
*The apple juice doesn't fall far from the tree.
bakunin 4
16- that was actually pretty funny
DogsPaw 16
26. 16 intentionally did that, juicing the apple... (I think)
CaptTeemo 10
You plant a potato you get a potato.
Sandsh8rk 36
He has piss-poor parenting skills.
tristanisgay 7
Hahaha , that's cute of them, OP!
moonboobs 4
Look at her name: bonding_boys. True in everyway
crazycatloverr 7
How do u think thats cute? The father is teaching the son something that he shouldnt!
Experiments 11
if i could favourite this comment i would
daner10 5
Personally, i would too
gmian 34
Same here, if I could...
Enslaved 38
Well, they wanted to use the toilet but there was a book still stuck in it.
RedPillSucks 33
@44. you can do it. it just takes superb muscle. control
gmian 34
@84 that, and a balcony!
idontknowanythin_fml 5
To be honest, that sounds like fun to do. Nuff said
loloalltheway 23
it wont be so much for the people beneath you...
gc327072 31
"second floor balcony.." I think they live in a house... If it was an apartment I think OP would've just said "balcony".
jelly713 19
No, apartments have balcony's.
jelly713 19
Balconies*
gc327072 31
Wow someone didn't read my comment at all.
moonboobs 4
Jelly713, I've seen a couple.
ColdplaySucks 18
Cherish the moment, they'll look back at these years with good memories.
calivianya 29
If the kid remembers. I hope he does.
icadragoon 11
If you live in the woods and the balcony isn't over anything important I see no issue with this, unless of course your son decides to do this with company over, then you can point to your husband and say "that's what happens when I leave him alone to parent the kids".
grafeety 9
Agreed, it's better than peeing in a potted plant in a crowded mall.
brand2017 9
When im 90 im going to pretend im insane and im going to take baths in a mall fountain. Theyll just be like "its thursday already?" lol
feldco1 17
Quality father son bonding time.
moonboobs 4
I wush my father "bonded" with me like that. BTW look at her user name :P
loozoo730 7
"Dad of the Year" award right there!
PenguinBitch 44
Ah good thing you found out. You didn't want to stick your tongue out thinking it was rain now wouldn't you.
pedosmurf 7
At least they are bonding haha seems like
Ja777 9
I'll admit, I find your username highly disturbing...
RedPillSucks 33
why? its not like they were using "krazy glue"
KVKdragon 26
I'd carry an umbrella around until they both grow out of this phase :P