Today, my girlfriend of 2 years texted me saying "I can't wait to f*ck later." I replied saying, "Couldn't we just spend time together?" Her response was, "What are you, a girl?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I texted this girl I really like and she didn't answer. She did about two hours later and it said, "Sorry, I was having sex at the time you texted me. So how are you?" FML
Today, my girlfriend noticed that I looked upset and asked me what was wrong. I told her I was sexually frustrated. Her response? "What are you telling me for?" FML
Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML
Today, I texted my girlfriend, saying how I hated my job, I felt trapped, and that I was wasting my time working there. A few minutes later, she answered, "That's how I feel about our relationship." FML
Today, my girlfriend texted one of her male friends, saying she's turned off by the thought of sex with me. She suggested a bit of "exercise sex" with him. I'm sure he would have eagerly agreed, if he'd been the one receiving the texts. FML
Today, I told my long-distance girlfriend that I just could not handle the distance and we should just be friends. To which she responded, "What? You thought we were going out? Lol". FML
Today, I texted my girlfriend a long heartfelt loving message for our 2-year anniversary. Her reply was just "K." FML
Today, I texted my girlfriend a long, heartfelt message this morning. Her response? "What do you need? Or is this even really you?" FML
Today, I wanted to text my girlfriend but lately we'd been at a loss for things to talk about. I thought, "Come on, she's your girlfriend, what's the worst that could happen." One hour and twenty two minutes later, I was single. FML
Today, my girlfriend of ten months sent me a picture message of her making out with a guy. Under it, it read, "You can pick your stuff up in the morning." FML
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Top comments
ycrem0n 21
Proof that guys aren't always the animals starving for sex
dominic1221 6
You're an illiterate moron, aren't you? Maybe you should spend less time jacking off in English class, kid.
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Comments (175)
loserman67 36
I am embarrassed to be the same gender that you are... If my wife texted me with that message, I'd set the land speed record getting home to her. So; #1. hand in your man card #2. check your genitalia to make sure you still have balls #3. stop being a whiny, prissy BITCH. Go **** your girlfriend's brains out. #4. NEVER post anything like your post EVER again.
THE_A_TEEN 28
^Strong example of why society is doomed. Hell, i'm embarrassed to be in the same gender as you and the other fucktards here.
OffToTheGayBar 9
Another testosterone-laden troglodyte, surprise, surprise.
Ryan8878 21
sorry there loserman, some just have more class, integrity and strength in saying no, than someone like yourself who feels the need to justify themselves any chance they get. OP is and will likely always be a better person than you.
loserman67 36
Okay, so you three disagree with me, as is your right. I respect your opinion as I would hope you respect mine. Oh, by the way, it was an attempt at humor, albiet a lame one, I see that now, but an attempt.
boopityboppity 11
182, I find it hilarious that you claimed to respect the opinions of those who disagree with you immediately after you finished denigrating a differing decision.
cruesan 0
haha WHO can blame.
lyskiss 10
She probably just finished reading that book, 50 Shades of Gray.
THE_A_TEEN 28
I can't believe some of the comments here. If this was a girl, nearly all of you would be telling her to dump him and insulting the man. Now, one guy wants to take it slow and half of you are reacting like if men are supposed to be sex raging beasts. Double standards...
Aedus 6
The problem is that guys almost never can make fun of a girl for refusing to have sex with their boyfriend. But here we're all like "what the hell, man? Grow a pair and tap that!" It's an annoying double standard. Men abound be allowed to turn down sex just as much as women without social backlash.
Ibeatmyself 3
I bet u turn down bjs
THE_A_TEEN 28
I bet you failed English class.
hiddenpoet 0
Bud ure life rules
j_cat187 20
I think you need to cure her hornyness.
HITide76808 0
Whoa wait am i seeing a man turn down sex. Hey your girl is a keeper, one horny kitty cat :)
Kathts7 12
Okay, it's cool that you want to spend time with her.. But you really should reply with a dirty text..