Today, I texted this girl I really like and she didn't answer. She did about two hours later and it said, "Sorry, I was having sex at the time you texted me. So how are you?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, to get my mind off being single, I texted some friends. The first one was going out tonight to work things out with her ex, the second told me about his amazing new girlfriend, and the third replied an hour later with, "Sorry, I was having sex when you texted me." FML
Today, I was going down on a girl. When I looked up she was texting. FML
Today, I texted the hottest girl in the school saying, "I really like you, we should date". She responded with a text saying, "Sorry, I'm not into you." I then got a text saying, "Sorry, my brother stole my phone, and answered, but still it's no". I got rejected twice. Once by a man. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 2 years texted me saying "I can't wait to f*ck later." I replied saying, "Couldn't we just spend time together?" Her response was, "What are you, a girl?" FML
Today, at 1am, the girl of my dreams that I've been trying for over three years to date, finally asked me out via SMS. Too bad I was asleep at the time. She now thinks I've rejected her, and will no longer speak to me. FML
Today, the girl I really liked started talking to me, so I asked her out on a date. After waiting an hour at the theatre, I texted her asking where she was. She replied with, "Oh! You were serious about the date?!" FML
Today, I called my girlfriend and she answered telling me how amazing the sex was last night and she can't wait to see me later. I didn't see her last night. FML
Today, I texted my girlfriend, saying "Hey there." She quickly replied, assuring me that she's not cheating on me. Uh, okay. FML
Today, my girlfriend hasn't spoken to me in a week, so I gave her a call. No reply. I texted her, and got a text back saying: "Sorry, dude. Better luck next time!" FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she lost her phone and not to call or text her. After about three hours, I text her phone, asking if she found it yet. I got a reply, saying "Nope." FML
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Top comments
JustAGirl_fml 0
Kiiiiind of an over-share. Are you sure she wasn't being, I don't know, funny or something?
that_one_guy 0
Yea, I'm going with #1 for this one. I'm doubting it, I think she may have just been trying to screw with you.
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Comments (60)
JustAGirl_fml 0
Kiiiiind of an over-share. Are you sure she wasn't being, I don't know, funny or something?
rwac07 0
tmi from the hoe
ifight4freedom 5
if she did, then she wouldn't tell him...
that_one_guy 0
Yea, I'm going with #1 for this one. I'm doubting it, I think she may have just been trying to screw with you.
crymore007 11
I'm pretty sure the best way to ensure you don't screw with someone is by telling them you were too busy screwing with someone else at the time to talk to them.
MoonRocks 5
She's literally trying to 'screw' with him playing hard to get and all that.
HanselSuHan 12
or screw without you. whutttt.
HanselSuHan 12
ahahha serious tho, that sucks
carriealana 0
i agree with #1 and #6, but otherwise, that really does suck.
AlphaWolf666 0
yeah she was just messing with you
beachyballerina 12
Haha you'd be surprised at how many ***** there are out there. I know I wouldn't be suprised if she really was having sex.
sunshinethehuman 9
Having sex doesn't make her a ****.
midnyte 0
At least you know she puts out.
Emma Marshall 19
Obviously not for him. She could have a boyfriend.... or just be giving this guy a big arse hint that she's not interested.
anon_fml_fml 0
lol wow i'm sorry
Malik_fml 0
I call bullshit. :P
Maniac_fml 0
that is painful man
ODEEZY 0
I agree with number 12 lol XD.... jk jk but its all good bruh just thing happy thoughts... Like maybe the sex she was having wasnt that good lol
thinkpink 0
I think that she wouldn't say something like that to be funny....girls don't like perverted humor as much. I agree with 6... maybe if you're creeping on her you should back down a little.
GalaxyShots 21
I'm a girl and would definitely say something like that to be funny. 99.9% of my humor is perverted. So speak for yourself next time.