Today, my girlfriend of 2 years texted me saying "I can't wait to f*ck later." I replied saying, "Couldn't we just spend time together?" Her response was, "What are you, a girl?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I texted this girl I really like and she didn't answer. She did about two hours later and it said, "Sorry, I was having sex at the time you texted me. So how are you?" FML
Today, my girlfriend noticed that I looked upset and asked me what was wrong. I told her I was sexually frustrated. Her response? "What are you telling me for?" FML
Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML
Today, I texted my girlfriend, saying how I hated my job, I felt trapped, and that I was wasting my time working there. A few minutes later, she answered, "That's how I feel about our relationship." FML
Today, my girlfriend texted one of her male friends, saying she's turned off by the thought of sex with me. She suggested a bit of "exercise sex" with him. I'm sure he would have eagerly agreed, if he'd been the one receiving the texts. FML
Today, I told my long-distance girlfriend that I just could not handle the distance and we should just be friends. To which she responded, "What? You thought we were going out? Lol". FML
Today, I texted my girlfriend a long heartfelt loving message for our 2-year anniversary. Her reply was just "K." FML
Today, I texted my girlfriend a long, heartfelt message this morning. Her response? "What do you need? Or is this even really you?" FML
Today, I wanted to text my girlfriend but lately we'd been at a loss for things to talk about. I thought, "Come on, she's your girlfriend, what's the worst that could happen." One hour and twenty two minutes later, I was single. FML
Today, my girlfriend of ten months sent me a picture message of her making out with a guy. Under it, it read, "You can pick your stuff up in the morning." FML
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Top comments
ycrem0n 21
Proof that guys aren't always the animals starving for sex
dominic1221 6
You're an illiterate moron, aren't you? Maybe you should spend less time jacking off in English class, kid.
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Comments (175)
williamcarter93 13
I don't see why everyone says he deserved it. There are actually men whose relationships don't revolve around nothing but sex. Men have as much right to not want to have sex as a woman does. One scenario: Man: I want to ****! Other person: Sex fiend, I'm worth more than just my body Second scenario: Woman: I want to ****. Man: No, let's do something else. Woman: What's wrong with you, why don't you want to **** me! Goddamn, we can't win.
failmaster069 7
I like to just spend time with girls to but if they come on to me like that I **** the shit out of them, that ***** sexy!
laurenmacias 0
COME ON BRO!!!???
shahi 0
I wouldn't have made her wait that long...
Levvy 22
Your situation doesn't count. Your girlfriend being at the end of your arm gives you an unfair advantage where speed is concerned.
silencebabyy 23
Ugh why arent there more guys out there like you OP
downtime 13
...What's so special about him? A low sex drive? Plenty of people have that...
silencebabyy 23
Thatd hed rather cuddle than have sex
happymom2g 0
**** her! Lol
YahImThatGuy 0
Count your blessings. This isn't a problem, it's a benefit.
moonsxstars 6
Wow... Seriously wow my point of view of men has been changed.
crazycatgirl 0
I agree with #2. This guy seems like a nice guy, not a "sex crazed animal" as they put it, and this girl had to go and ruin it. Good job, girlfriend.
brittanyyjay 0
sounds like something i would say.