Today, my girlfriend of 2 years texted me saying "I can't wait to f*ck later." I replied saying, "Couldn't we just spend time together?" Her response was, "What are you, a girl?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I texted this girl I really like and she didn't answer. She did about two hours later and it said, "Sorry, I was having sex at the time you texted me. So how are you?" FML
Today, my girlfriend noticed that I looked upset and asked me what was wrong. I told her I was sexually frustrated. Her response? "What are you telling me for?" FML
Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML
Today, I texted my girlfriend, saying how I hated my job, I felt trapped, and that I was wasting my time working there. A few minutes later, she answered, "That's how I feel about our relationship." FML
Today, my girlfriend texted one of her male friends, saying she's turned off by the thought of sex with me. She suggested a bit of "exercise sex" with him. I'm sure he would have eagerly agreed, if he'd been the one receiving the texts. FML
Today, I told my long-distance girlfriend that I just could not handle the distance and we should just be friends. To which she responded, "What? You thought we were going out? Lol". FML
Today, I texted my girlfriend a long heartfelt loving message for our 2-year anniversary. Her reply was just "K." FML
Today, I texted my girlfriend a long, heartfelt message this morning. Her response? "What do you need? Or is this even really you?" FML
Today, I wanted to text my girlfriend but lately we'd been at a loss for things to talk about. I thought, "Come on, she's your girlfriend, what's the worst that could happen." One hour and twenty two minutes later, I was single. FML
Today, my girlfriend of ten months sent me a picture message of her making out with a guy. Under it, it read, "You can pick your stuff up in the morning." FML
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Top comments
ycrem0n 21
Proof that guys aren't always the animals starving for sex
dominic1221 6
You're an illiterate moron, aren't you? Maybe you should spend less time jacking off in English class, kid.
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Comments (175)
wlddog 14
OP, you just made a few thousand women want your man.
apocalyptic_1125 0
What are you, a girl?
THE_A_TEEN 28
I think he's a guy. There is your answer.
arcottrammathorn 1
Teach her a lesson, slip it in her pooper
Irakli_1 27
Seriously, YOU"RE A MAN OR A PUSSY????
davek 36
I've got some bad news for you, bro...
corleon198425 22
Send her my way fagot
Ashlee0715 8
I think your idea was better.
tommytoons92 3
My girlfriend of two years is the opposite you are lucky to have her
Anavrin9 2
Yeah man, seriously, are you a girl? That's pathetic, and your girlfriend sounds awesome.
Ryan8878 21
Stfu you asshole
ilovefall10 21
What pisses me off is that, I bet if this was a girl posting this about wanting to just spend time together , all of you would of felt bad for her. But no. Since it's a GUY he totally deserves it cause ALL guys want to have sex all the time.