Today, my girlfriend texted one of her male friends, saying she's turned off by the thought of sex with me. She suggested a bit of "exercise sex" with him. I'm sure he would have eagerly agreed, if he'd been the one receiving the texts. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend kindly broke the news to me that she doesn't want to take part in any sexual activity anymore because it's getting too boring. FML
Today, I thought it would be fun to have a sex session with my boyfriend. I sent him a suggestive message, and 30 minutes later he texted me back to let me know he was done. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 2 years texted me saying "I can't wait to f*ck later." I replied saying, "Couldn't we just spend time together?" Her response was, "What are you, a girl?" FML
Today, I realised my girlfriend only has sex with me to make me exercise. FML
Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML
Today, I had a cute girl over and we cuddled on my bed. Later she texted me that she had decided that she didn't want to ever do that again because it turned her on. FML
Today, my ex-girlfriend from several years ago texted me. We were having a pleasant conversation until she asked me to give advice. Apparently, her current boyfriend is incapable of talking dirty, fingering, and other sexual aspects. She asked me to give him advice and pointers. FML
Today, my fiancee told me she felt horny and was excited for bed, then got mad when I seemed indifferent. I'd be more interested if she didn't constantly wind me up by talking about sex, then get cold feet the second we're alone. FML
Today, my girlfriend is upset with me for not wanting to sext. I can't sext with her because she adds "lol" to everything, which turns me off. FML
Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML
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Top comments
kut17 11
Have exercise sex with her sister.
rein 8
What a bitch! Dump her sorry ass.
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Comments (104)
umadbrahHI 1
ydi for being fat.
MasterTron 24
And you know op is fat how o.O?
kut17 11
And you know op is skinny how?
that_guy666 3
right he deserves it because his girlfriend is acting like a cheating hoe?
kut17 11
Have exercise sex with her sister.
iNewKid 20
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Who says the girlfriend has a sister?
kut17 11
Who said she doesn't?
SilentWind 0
If not sister then cousin
AsianAdvent 2
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Number 20 wins, hands down!
kathuzada 6
Oranges
CrewBoy 10
I agree with #2. **** her sister, then Take naked pictures of your ex-girlfriend, post them on Facebook, send them to father, Get father charged with assault when he kicks your ass, and then have sex with her mom while her husband is in jail. Oh golly, I sure do hate cheaters. Seriously tho.
zandalee 20
Easy tiger!!
rhaemese 9
And then have sex with her moms sister.
Brool_Story_Co 17
^So, her Aunt...
AsianAdvent 2
Idk I just thought you had the most wit. But I got voted down or thinking you were cool o.o I guess I'm the only one who thinks you are?
maosquare 18
But 27, oranges are not the only fruit!
mduffy08 8
At this rate he minds well just **** everybody in her family.
DazedSiren 5
Yesssss
sincerelyjay 13
#21 not related at all, but you are so pretty! Do you model?
SnowFlakeInAK 7
Confront her. It sounds like you need to have an in depth talk about your relationship. Good luck OP,my heart goes out to you.
CrewBoy 10
I would say more of an in depth talk about ENDING the relationship.
Drigr 9
I'm usually dead set against "dump them" replies to these FMLs, but in this case, yes, dump the dumb bitch.
pipeline101 6
How about a kick to the curb talk
iHeartRKO 5
Screw that, only his girlfriend, get rid of the *****
AKGirlinSD 20
Yes, this is really sad that the Original Poster had to experience this heart break due to his (hopefully now) ex-girlfriend. But at least it was discovered now instead of years from now, where there could be a marriage and babies involved between them. OP, this is a blessing in disguise.
rein 8
What a bitch! Dump her sorry ass.
sheethapins 13
One of the very few "dump him/her" scenarios I agree with completely. No one deserves that, if she isn't happy enough in the relationship that she would try and offer sex to another guy then she should have either talked it out with you or left. At this point knowing what she was trying leaves nothing to salvage from the relationship because trust is destroyed, and no good relationship has room for doubt and distrust. OP, you will find someone else who respects you.
ICastillo 25
Well just tell her to **** off
iNewKid 20
I hope you dumped that bitch. Sorry OP. There are still many fish in the sea :).
pokefan813 16
You call op's girlfriend a fish? More like bottom-feeder.
DarkJediLove 19
Exercise your right to walk away.
SApprentice 34
It's time for the two of you to have a serious conversation then.
krysstar 5
Dump that bitch. She has no respect for you and obviously doesn't seem to like you as much as you like her.
neurodoc 1
Time to exercise the first amendment and your middle finger.
LuckyLynx7732 5
I think the second amendment might be a bit more appropriate in this situation.
doctorhook86 25
41: Don't shoot anybody, okay? It's not cool.
llama612 27
Yeah defs time to dumb her ass. What a massive bitch and not to mention bit of a ****.
Sinkhole 26
I think her ass is already dumb.