Today, my girlfriend of 2 years texted me saying "I can't wait to f*ck later." I replied saying, "Couldn't we just spend time together?" Her response was, "What are you, a girl?" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I texted this girl I really like and she didn't answer. She did about two hours later and it said, "Sorry, I was having sex at the time you texted me. So how are you?" FML
Today, my girlfriend noticed that I looked upset and asked me what was wrong. I told her I was sexually frustrated. Her response? "What are you telling me for?" FML
Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML
Today, I texted my girlfriend, saying how I hated my job, I felt trapped, and that I was wasting my time working there. A few minutes later, she answered, "That's how I feel about our relationship." FML
Today, my girlfriend texted one of her male friends, saying she's turned off by the thought of sex with me. She suggested a bit of "exercise sex" with him. I'm sure he would have eagerly agreed, if he'd been the one receiving the texts. FML
Today, I told my long-distance girlfriend that I just could not handle the distance and we should just be friends. To which she responded, "What? You thought we were going out? Lol". FML
Today, I texted my girlfriend a long heartfelt loving message for our 2-year anniversary. Her reply was just "K." FML
Today, I texted my girlfriend a long, heartfelt message this morning. Her response? "What do you need? Or is this even really you?" FML
Today, I wanted to text my girlfriend but lately we'd been at a loss for things to talk about. I thought, "Come on, she's your girlfriend, what's the worst that could happen." One hour and twenty two minutes later, I was single. FML
Today, my girlfriend of ten months sent me a picture message of her making out with a guy. Under it, it read, "You can pick your stuff up in the morning." FML
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Top comments
ycrem0n 21
Proof that guys aren't always the animals starving for sex
dominic1221 6
You're an illiterate moron, aren't you? Maybe you should spend less time jacking off in English class, kid.
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Comments (175)
gears5 7
you turned this into an fml. ydi
HarpoKeane 13
Way to go girl, and while you're at it your girlfriend sounds goody goody, always keep them happy, or they'll find someone who will.
Discombobulated9 12
A relationship isn't all about keeping the girl happy, it's about keeping each other happy.
MissHayleyJames 7
I am so sick of people saying always satisfy your partner or don't be surprised of they cheat on you. If the bitch/bastard cheats on you, it's not your fault and they deserve to kicked to the curb. You don't cheat on someone you love. Period. If you're with someone who is the kind of person to go out and cheat if they're not getting enough, you deserve better anyways and should find someone with morals instead.
SWeatHeart11_fml 7
That's pretty awesome a guy has the intentions of spending time and actually cares about his girl and isnt only thinking about sex. Good for you!
Jdog619 11
Given context clues, I would say he has sex on a pretty regular basis. As such, he is able to turn it down once and still be having a lot of sex. There's nothing wrong with not being in the mood every once in a while. It happens to everyone.
jroxursox1 10
I think that having sex could be considered spending time together. I mean you couldn't get any closer.
laden_swallow09 35
Uhh, yeah, you can. It's called companionship, and it takes a good long while to form an intimate understanding of another. Sex is fast and easy. That's the reason why sex is oft mistaken for real love… which sex and love aren't mutually exclusive, but no one wants to read as much as I'd write on here.
robokid777 4
dude she wants dick give it to her so you don't lose her.
laden_swallow09 35
I think losing her wouldn't be so bad if she wants it that much more than he does. If she doesn't respond to some discussion about it, then definitely so.
ILike_Dancing123 19
I think it's really nice just cuddling now and then because your showing her your appreciation! At least you care about your girlfriend, so surely she should appreciate that your not only with her just for sex. Most relationships now a days revolve around sex, it's nice to see a traditional relationship!
ciipher 17
Ha! Gaaaaaaaaaay! (http://youtu.be/23ND3FKlT_k)
shaggan 6
the girls around here think STD stands for (suck that dick) I live in the ghetto were the girls work hard on the corner for drugs and trench clubs. Go knock her ass out the park well you still can son
Geneside 8
Feel your pain. Same thing happend to me 2 weeks ago