Today, my girlfriend of 2 years texted me saying "I can't wait to f*ck later." I replied saying, "Couldn't we just spend time together?" Her response was, "What are you, a girl?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I texted this girl I really like and she didn't answer. She did about two hours later and it said, "Sorry, I was having sex at the time you texted me. So how are you?" FML
Today, my girlfriend noticed that I looked upset and asked me what was wrong. I told her I was sexually frustrated. Her response? "What are you telling me for?" FML
Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML
Today, I texted my girlfriend, saying how I hated my job, I felt trapped, and that I was wasting my time working there. A few minutes later, she answered, "That's how I feel about our relationship." FML
Today, my girlfriend texted one of her male friends, saying she's turned off by the thought of sex with me. She suggested a bit of "exercise sex" with him. I'm sure he would have eagerly agreed, if he'd been the one receiving the texts. FML
Today, I told my long-distance girlfriend that I just could not handle the distance and we should just be friends. To which she responded, "What? You thought we were going out? Lol". FML
Today, I texted my girlfriend a long heartfelt loving message for our 2-year anniversary. Her reply was just "K." FML
Today, I texted my girlfriend a long, heartfelt message this morning. Her response? "What do you need? Or is this even really you?" FML
Today, I wanted to text my girlfriend but lately we'd been at a loss for things to talk about. I thought, "Come on, she's your girlfriend, what's the worst that could happen." One hour and twenty two minutes later, I was single. FML
Today, my girlfriend of ten months sent me a picture message of her making out with a guy. Under it, it read, "You can pick your stuff up in the morning." FML
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Top comments
ycrem0n 21
Proof that guys aren't always the animals starving for sex
dominic1221 6
You're an illiterate moron, aren't you? Maybe you should spend less time jacking off in English class, kid.
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Comments (175)
fat1239 4
Yeah i will be required to take your man card now thankyou.
loverboy666 6
Come on dude she wants it go 4 it, it's been 2 years let it happen
TSN619 7
Ok let's clear some shit up. Not all mean want to **** all the time as OP has proven. Some women have just as high or even higher sex drive than those guys who do want it all the time. Girls can go to the club just like guys looking to go home with someone. OP is not a bitch and doesn't need to lose his man card simply because he wants to spend some quality time with his girl. Sex isn't gonna hold a relationship together for very long. Shit, for all we know he tears that shit up every night and that's why she keeps coming back.
Trisha_aus 15
Awe sweet...perhaps you can cuddle n chat with your teddy?
LittleGreenPaola 23
That's nice of you! If I was your girlfriend, I'd be glad to have a boyfriend who doesn't only want to have sex. (Actually I didn't believe these guys really existed :) )
eon07 0
Oh they do :)
robberry 11
What's wrong, sand in your ****** again?
FajitaFreak 3
Not every guy has a very active libido. To insult and place blame on him because he doesn't is ridiculous. If the roles were reversed and the girl didn't want sex, that would be the end of the conversation. I can't believe how utterly hypocritical most people are, and they don't even care. Doesn't anyone take a second or two to think about the standards we're setting? It's pathetic. It's like we're turning into the Roman empire again. Nothing but lewd and lascivious behavior, screw class and chivalry, let's just **** our brains out without purpose. It makes me very sad when thinking about the future. No one cares about anything. People only want the icing and not the substance.
boopityboppity 11
Bravo, sir. I hope, against all reason, that people will subscribe to your rationale.
greenmen 12
Man sex is good!
laden_swallow09 35
Man, an authentic, intimate relationship is better!
swimmer3141 10
The two don't have to be mutually exclusive.
OffToTheGayBar 9
Yeah, man-sex is good. I knew you looked a little, as my grandfather would say, "funny". Work on your punctuation, broskis. It can turn a normal comment into a disasterpiece, as you have just found out.
BAD41387 0
It's satisfying to me that a guy would want to just lay around together. It bothers me that a female is being a douche bag about it and doing what girls always complain about guys doing. Sorry dude.
momo1972 3
She loves f*uck, and she's good at it too
Becca_BooP 8
Ever think she was trying to be spontaneous and sexy by sending you that text and you saying what you did probably made her feel rejected so it pissed her off causing her to say what she did. Any man who says something like you did is either gay or a virgin.
kandi_kid69 15
Any man that just wants to talk is gay or a virgin? Where the **** are you getting that from? Not all men just want sex, some guys would actually like to talk and cuddle with their girlfriends. A girl would be lucky to have a guy like OP since most men (not all) are only in it for sex. It was actually pretty sweet that he turned it down.
Becca_BooP 8
Some of these comments were A LOT worse then mine and they moderate MINE. Wow haha