Today, my drunk boyfriend told me he thought of new positions for us to try in bed because it was getting boring. We haven't had sex yet. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my inebriated boyfriend and I were having sex. He rolled off of me without finishing, and said, "I'm bored." FML
Today, I finally had sex with my live-in boyfriend after a long dry spell. It was passionate and great, until I hurt my back changing positions. Now he refuses to touch me, going as far as sleeping on the couch to give me "enough space". Hello new dry spell. FML
Today, my drunk boyfriend called me by my best friend's name in bed. FML
Today, while at family dinner, my boyfriend got drunk and told my entire family the things I do in bed. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over to see me after almost a month of us not spending time together. Unfortunately, he came straight from bar-hopping with his friends and was wasted. He's currently naked in bed, cooing at his penis, and giggling like a little girl. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I fell asleep twice during sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend confessed the reason we haven’t been intimate in months is because he can’t get it up unless he is drunk. I’ve been refusing to get intimate when he’s drunk because it’s not enjoyable and mostly painful, but I still have needs. FML
Today, my rarely-romantic boyfriend finally said "I love you". Too bad he was drunk, and was talking to my vagina. FML
Today, I tried to initiate sex with my boyfriend. As I put on my most seductive moves, he ever so nicely says, "Babe, we just had sex last night. Why don't we wait a while so you've had some time to tighten back up." FML
Today, I called my boyfriend for a romantic night at home. I put on my hottest little dress, dimmed the lights, and put music on. My boyfriend stumbled in much later, drunk, and took one look at me before throwing up on my feet. FML
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Top comments
Toas7 0
"Today, my drunk boyfriend " This explains it.
efmivida 0
hes a jerk... or really weird
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Comments (96)
Lizzygirlleee 0
he probably means no sex is kinda boring. i think it is... :p
tranekfny 0
that doesnt mean hes cheating on u. hes drunk.
xcchick 0
why did she deserve tht? u asses.
jiggles101 0
lol wow he's drunk what do you expect. DO you really believe everything people say when they're drunk. If he told you he was going for a walk to the moon while he's krunk would you run around telling everyone about how your boyfriend can walk to the moon?
whizzkidd99 0
well no shit you ******* dumb bitch HE WANTS TO **** YOU IN THE BUTT
whizzkidd99 0
dude crazy cack i love your thoughts we should hang out more often
filmil 0
**** U for not putting out. its the girls responsibility to initiate the sex so YDI big time. give ur boyfriend some pussy or u might as well say ur going to marry a drunkard lol. hope he breaks up with u
SKYblue_fml 1
wow. You're destined to be lonely your whole life.
Shyman4ever 0
2 words: dump him
fmltfln 0
HAY VATS UP!!! I AM BRUUUNO!!
olisykes_ 0
Holy ****.
captivemj 4
wats FTW??