Today, my drunk boyfriend told me he thought of new positions for us to try in bed because it was getting boring. We haven't had sex yet. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my inebriated boyfriend and I were having sex. He rolled off of me without finishing, and said, "I'm bored." FML
Today, I finally had sex with my live-in boyfriend after a long dry spell. It was passionate and great, until I hurt my back changing positions. Now he refuses to touch me, going as far as sleeping on the couch to give me "enough space". Hello new dry spell. FML
Today, my drunk boyfriend called me by my best friend's name in bed. FML
Today, while at family dinner, my boyfriend got drunk and told my entire family the things I do in bed. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over to see me after almost a month of us not spending time together. Unfortunately, he came straight from bar-hopping with his friends and was wasted. He's currently naked in bed, cooing at his penis, and giggling like a little girl. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I fell asleep twice during sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend confessed the reason we haven’t been intimate in months is because he can’t get it up unless he is drunk. I’ve been refusing to get intimate when he’s drunk because it’s not enjoyable and mostly painful, but I still have needs. FML
Today, my rarely-romantic boyfriend finally said "I love you". Too bad he was drunk, and was talking to my vagina. FML
Today, I tried to initiate sex with my boyfriend. As I put on my most seductive moves, he ever so nicely says, "Babe, we just had sex last night. Why don't we wait a while so you've had some time to tighten back up." FML
Today, I called my boyfriend for a romantic night at home. I put on my hottest little dress, dimmed the lights, and put music on. My boyfriend stumbled in much later, drunk, and took one look at me before throwing up on my feet. FML
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Top comments
Toas7 0
"Today, my drunk boyfriend " This explains it.
efmivida 0
hes a jerk... or really weird
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Comments (96)
DennisHenige 0
put out
bearforce_1 0
ydi for not putting out
GS430 0
Go **** his close friend and tell him that u got bored with him and needed new dick.
FoundManyLemons 0
He was drunk, so maybe it doesn't mean what it sounds like? Maybe he means the penis-in-****** position?
procrastinator86 0
why haven't you guys had sex? that seems to be the reason why its boring....maybe he is just trying to tell you he wants you (in an inebriated way)
Clutzy_as_ever_4 0
@ olisykes_ ... Idc if you think I'm a whiny bitch, but to say you hope my pap dies is ****** up and not needed, you can say what you want about me, but to say you wish death on someone is low, grow some actual balls and be a man instead of being pathetic, disrespectful and stupid. I'm sick of people being assholes on here, to the people that post there FMLs, and to people that are actually giving the posters advice. Learn to have some ******* respect!!!!! and if the people that created the site aren't going to tell you about it, I will. @ Crazycok.... As for your little comment about me "You're probly a 40 year old lose sitting in your basement jacking off.".... Last time I checked it's spelled loser, which you literally are a 40 year old loser (checked your profile...), possibly sitting in your god damn basement jacking off, because noone in their right mind would **** you... and you constantly say ****, which is actually not that funny, or cool... it's stupid and childish, I would expect a 13-18 year old guy saying it, but you're 40.... Grow the hell up and act your age not your shoe size. And btw I'm 16, and a female... and You people are ******* assholes, and need to learn to respect others. And that's pathetic if you have to be told by a 16 year old.. if you're over 20.. to be respectful because you should know how to act. And others need to learn how to type.
cono1234 0
Can you comment without ruthlessly insulting everybody?
cono1234 0
That was meant for crazycok.
intotheblue 0
Ugh. ******* trolls on this FML. OP, maybe your boyfriend was hinting that he wanted to have sex? Or maybe he meant other things in bed, I mean have you done ANYTHING sexual? Maybe he wanted to try oral sex or mutual masturbation or something kinky but not actually intercourse? I dunno...
Anziepanzie 0
you know, my dad has said that he was in world war one once when he was drunk. he even acted it all out. he wasn't in that war. drunk people say the darndest things. oh, and he also told me that he met every great and powerful karate master in the world, he showed me some rediculous moves, etc whilst drunk. drunk people also DO the darndest things, so it might not have meant anything.
Taydiane 0
Ha, Fail. It's probably boring because you havent gave him any?
mmmmay 0
he should be your ex-boyfriend now