Today, my inebriated boyfriend and I were having sex. He rolled off of me without finishing, and said, "I'm bored." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my drunk boyfriend told me he thought of new positions for us to try in bed because it was getting boring. We haven't had sex yet. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over to see me after almost a month of us not spending time together. Unfortunately, he came straight from bar-hopping with his friends and was wasted. He's currently naked in bed, cooing at his penis, and giggling like a little girl. FML
Today, I went out drinking with my friends and my boyfriend met me there. We then decided to come home, planning an intimate moment. Once home, I got on top of him and went to kiss his neck. Next thing I know, I'd fallen asleep right before we'd even started. FML
Today, I was having some rare good sex with my husband, when he suddenly said, "I'm fuckin' BORED," and pulled out so he could go play his video games. FML
Today, I was having really great sex with my boyfriend. I was on top and he seemed like he was really enjoying it. Then, I realized he'd fallen asleep. FML
Today, I got a drunken call from my boyfriend, which consisted of him telling me that he, "does man things like fuck bitches and roll with hoes," and that I've been, "trying to turn him into a half-ass girly man," but, "that shit ain't right." Then he threw up. FML
Today, my boyfriend said he was too tired to have sex with me because he'd spent the whole day jerking off. FML
Today, my boyfriend fell asleep during phone sex. FML
Today, in the middle of having sex, my girlfriend stopped moaning. I asked what was wrong. She said, "I'm bored." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were drinking wine naked after sex. He went to get another glass, but on the way back tripped and fell flat on his face. His roommate unexpectedly came home, saw him face-down on the floor, thought I'd drugged him and tackled me before I could explain. FML
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Top comments
Dr_Phil 0
It sounds like you're bad in bed. I mean, the guy was drunk and still didn't enjoy it. Or maybe he's gay. One of the two.
vfscx0aw6o7jshl 0
He probably wanted a footjob
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Comments (44)
vfscx0aw6o7jshl 0
He probably wanted a footjob
zykrithium 22
Blame it on the a-a-a-a-a-alcohol.
black0belt0babe7 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Um dump the ungrateful jerk!
Strikerr 5
your an idiot
MadisonDerp 16
You're* an idiot, too.
Dr_Phil 0
It sounds like you're bad in bed. I mean, the guy was drunk and still didn't enjoy it. Or maybe he's gay. One of the two.
rainbabyrain 3
Or both?
Dr_Phil 0
#8 - You're referring to a Cleveland Steamer, not a Hot Pocket. A Hot Pocket is related, but can only be done to a woman. I'm going to skip the details, but you can look them up on urban dictionary.
BJacobs 0
i agree with 6 since I've totally done the same thing, though I didn't say anything, It was just too much work.
casanova_fml 0
there are few things more boring than ******* a dead fish (of a woman). if he has whiskey dick and gets bored, its time for you to take control and ride him for all hes worth... unless you're fat and ugly, in which case you damn well better take advantage of having a dick availible because it will probably be quite a while before you get another
TheKitchenSink 0
Shouldn't this be in the "sex" category?
redhedsaysrawr 18
honestly, why are you here? what do you think the intimate category IS? it even says it on the homepage! -_-
mleeb 0
what makes this all the more sad is that he was drunk. you'd think it'd be easier to keep him entertained. maybe you should work on your technique. ... i can't imagine what it's like for him when he's sober.
Eir_fml 1
@1: !!! Yeah, that would be awful... e and denial
alwaysme_fml 0
omg last night the same thing happened to me!!! I was on top and i was quite enjoying myself then out of nowhere he was like "are you done yet? Im borde" By any chance is this inbread bf of yours from newfoundland? Maybe its a newfie thing lol.