Today, my drunk boyfriend told me he thought of new positions for us to try in bed because it was getting boring. We haven't had sex yet. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my inebriated boyfriend and I were having sex. He rolled off of me without finishing, and said, "I'm bored." FML
Today, I finally had sex with my live-in boyfriend after a long dry spell. It was passionate and great, until I hurt my back changing positions. Now he refuses to touch me, going as far as sleeping on the couch to give me "enough space". Hello new dry spell. FML
Today, my drunk boyfriend called me by my best friend's name in bed. FML
Today, while at family dinner, my boyfriend got drunk and told my entire family the things I do in bed. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over to see me after almost a month of us not spending time together. Unfortunately, he came straight from bar-hopping with his friends and was wasted. He's currently naked in bed, cooing at his penis, and giggling like a little girl. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I fell asleep twice during sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend confessed the reason we haven’t been intimate in months is because he can’t get it up unless he is drunk. I’ve been refusing to get intimate when he’s drunk because it’s not enjoyable and mostly painful, but I still have needs. FML
Today, my rarely-romantic boyfriend finally said "I love you". Too bad he was drunk, and was talking to my vagina. FML
Today, I tried to initiate sex with my boyfriend. As I put on my most seductive moves, he ever so nicely says, "Babe, we just had sex last night. Why don't we wait a while so you've had some time to tighten back up." FML
Today, I called my boyfriend for a romantic night at home. I put on my hottest little dress, dimmed the lights, and put music on. My boyfriend stumbled in much later, drunk, and took one look at me before throwing up on my feet. FML
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Top comments
Toas7 0
"Today, my drunk boyfriend " This explains it.
efmivida 0
hes a jerk... or really weird
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Comments (96)
saunder 0
so i guess its TIME, any position would be a new one for ya
sam_stalker 0
MAYBE THATS WHY ITS BORING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
missbon 0
Lets put this into perspective, shes dating a guy who drunken rambles. none of which makes any sence to her because they havnt actually had sex yet. What does that tell us? It tells us that he was not making coherrent conversation bacause he WAS DRUNK! people say all kinds of things whilst under the influence, i myself have told my boyfriend that i wanted to, and i believe this is verbatim,"lick chocolate off your friends chest" . Not meaning it in the slightest. It's what we do. We get drunk. We say stupid shit. And when morning come, we have flash backs of last nights events and pray to god that the repercussions of those things are not as bad as the last time. @OP: he was drunk, stress less.
DrMorbid 0
EXACTLY my thoughts! Never and I mean NEVER take seriously ANYTHING a drunk person says.
Gaston_fml 0
Totally LOLed.
yaktazuki 0
Atleast you found out that he might be cheating
atrialfib29 0
:)
Dracula212 0
hahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahaha I've done the same thing to this girl last week. stupid booze makes you talk lol
rotorcowboy 0
He was drunk. Go easy on him.
sexinmybed 0
for the win
EffYoLife 14
lol@u havent had sex yet. cant get more BORING than THAT! lmao