Today, my drunk boyfriend told me he thought of new positions for us to try in bed because it was getting boring. We haven't had sex yet. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my inebriated boyfriend and I were having sex. He rolled off of me without finishing, and said, "I'm bored." FML
Today, I finally had sex with my live-in boyfriend after a long dry spell. It was passionate and great, until I hurt my back changing positions. Now he refuses to touch me, going as far as sleeping on the couch to give me "enough space". Hello new dry spell. FML
Today, my drunk boyfriend called me by my best friend's name in bed. FML
Today, while at family dinner, my boyfriend got drunk and told my entire family the things I do in bed. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over to see me after almost a month of us not spending time together. Unfortunately, he came straight from bar-hopping with his friends and was wasted. He's currently naked in bed, cooing at his penis, and giggling like a little girl. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I fell asleep twice during sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend confessed the reason we haven’t been intimate in months is because he can’t get it up unless he is drunk. I’ve been refusing to get intimate when he’s drunk because it’s not enjoyable and mostly painful, but I still have needs. FML
Today, my rarely-romantic boyfriend finally said "I love you". Too bad he was drunk, and was talking to my vagina. FML
Today, I tried to initiate sex with my boyfriend. As I put on my most seductive moves, he ever so nicely says, "Babe, we just had sex last night. Why don't we wait a while so you've had some time to tighten back up." FML
Today, I called my boyfriend for a romantic night at home. I put on my hottest little dress, dimmed the lights, and put music on. My boyfriend stumbled in much later, drunk, and took one look at me before throwing up on my feet. FML
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Top comments
Toas7 0
"Today, my drunk boyfriend " This explains it.
efmivida 0
hes a jerk... or really weird
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Comments (96)
cmac86 24
you shouldn't have sex at your young age anyway.
devendra_fml 0
uh, i think the general population agrees that nineteen is old enough. unless you're planning on being a virgin in your thirties?
kcslgvr 11
at least they're legal.
lastminuteperm 0
At least the tramp he was sleeping with is boring.
dacman48 0
try the posits
where_i_stood 0
well, he was drunk. that's not really an fml.
wrw28405 0
the man was drunk, that says everything right there. He obviously was impaired and wasn't thinking clearly. Don't get too pissed off, just talk to him when he's sober and see what info you can glean out him.
byob_fml 0
ROFLMFAO "see you tommorow" made my day.
TheUnknown_fml 9
Mayb that's why it's boring. LOL. F your life
malcolm1919 0
YDI for being a prude
unknown12341 0
wow he sucks **** fml this site can suck my dick
SusanaSaysRawrxD 0
Crazycok ;; you are my hero. :D OP: I'm sorry, crazycok stole your FML thunder xD
aquarius6 0
uh. he's a bug time drunk?!