Today, my drunk boyfriend told me he thought of new positions for us to try in bed because it was getting boring. We haven't had sex yet. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my inebriated boyfriend and I were having sex. He rolled off of me without finishing, and said, "I'm bored." FML
Today, I finally had sex with my live-in boyfriend after a long dry spell. It was passionate and great, until I hurt my back changing positions. Now he refuses to touch me, going as far as sleeping on the couch to give me "enough space". Hello new dry spell. FML
Today, my drunk boyfriend called me by my best friend's name in bed. FML
Today, while at family dinner, my boyfriend got drunk and told my entire family the things I do in bed. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over to see me after almost a month of us not spending time together. Unfortunately, he came straight from bar-hopping with his friends and was wasted. He's currently naked in bed, cooing at his penis, and giggling like a little girl. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I fell asleep twice during sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend confessed the reason we haven’t been intimate in months is because he can’t get it up unless he is drunk. I’ve been refusing to get intimate when he’s drunk because it’s not enjoyable and mostly painful, but I still have needs. FML
Today, my rarely-romantic boyfriend finally said "I love you". Too bad he was drunk, and was talking to my vagina. FML
Today, I tried to initiate sex with my boyfriend. As I put on my most seductive moves, he ever so nicely says, "Babe, we just had sex last night. Why don't we wait a while so you've had some time to tighten back up." FML
Today, I called my boyfriend for a romantic night at home. I put on my hottest little dress, dimmed the lights, and put music on. My boyfriend stumbled in much later, drunk, and took one look at me before throwing up on my feet. FML
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Top comments
Toas7 0
"Today, my drunk boyfriend " This explains it.
efmivida 0
hes a jerk... or really weird
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Comments (96)
sam_stalker 0
Why is this in the INTIMACY section? shouldn't of be in the SEX section?
iFRUiTTART 0
Sam_stalker , the sex section got replaced with "intimacy" .
ily_hun996 0
"Sex" to "Intimacy" "My Life Sucks, but I don't give a F**k" to "Get the Guts to Spill the Beans" WHAT THE ****
Jakester 0
now they are being more kid friendly :/ yeah seriously this is stupid
iSmellNice 2
Next, they'll change the site name to mylifesucks.com
sunshineegirl 2
ahh yeah, its pretty lame.
fretforyerlatte 0
FTW!
I_am_stupid_also 6
So maybe he wants to try new positions in bed, but still no sex.
olisykes_ 0
Your name sums you up pretty well. (Not you, crazycok)
aback 5
You haven't, but he has.
kira1kira 0
I'm scared to think about how he got confused....
devendra_fml 0
you deserve it for not trying different positions when you're not having sex with him.
mmmyeahsaraa 0
maybe he didnt know what he was saying? i mean after all....he was drunk
loverslanex3 0
Well that's a bummer. He was drunk though...