Today, my girlfriend really needed to take a pee while we were fishing in my boat. Rather than go to shore, she decided to she could just go into a Snapple bottle. I watched as all her pee went straight onto the floor of my boat, soon realizing she had never even taken the bottle's cap off. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend took a crap in my swimming pool. Her excuse? She had to go. FML
Today, I walked out the bathroom and saw my girlfriend peeing in a mug. She said that's the mug she uses when she can't hold it anymore. That's the mug I put my coffee in every morning. FML
Today, I drank from a soda can that was on my floor. Unfortunately, it was my boyfriend’s pee. He was too lazy to go to the bathroom. FML
Today, my girlfriend was throwing a birthday party and got very drunk. She needed help getting to the bathroom so I picked her up and walked her to the toilet. Assuming she needed to throw up, she instead takes a huge, monstrous crap right in front of me. I can't look at her the same ever again. FML
Today, I was woken up by a noise coming from the bathroom. Upon investigation, I discovered my very drunk, giggling girlfriend attempting to urinate standing up. Carefully note the word "attempting". FML
Today, I went kayaking with some friends, and I had an empty beer can dedicated to throwing cigarette butts in. After running out of beer, I took a big swig from the only can in my kayak. Twice. FML
Today, my roommate reached a whole new level of laziness: I caught him casually peeing into an empty beer bottle while laying in bed. FML
Today, I had to pee in a cup. The cup almost overflowed. My first instinct was to drink some so it didn't spill. FML
Today, my wife and I went kayaking for the first time in the ocean. She got seasick and, just before she threw up, leaned over the side and tipped the kayak over. FML
Today, my wife found out when I’m super busy with work and can’t be bothered to walk upstairs for a pee, I just pee into a bottle and empty it out the window onto the grass. I get it’s sorta gross but the way she was yelling you’d have think I took a shit on the drive in full view of the neighbours. FML
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Top comments
LadyRen 20
Even with the cap off, peeing in a bottle can be hard for women. We don't have something we can just shove in a bottle easily and pee with.
TheGermanCoon 3
She just marked her territory.
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Comments (39)
MrsHumanFrog 19
Why didn't she just hang over the edge?
Sir_Cow 17
In a small row boat?
mcdgaf 14
because if you're in a smaller craft it isn't feasible without capsizing the boat.
apossessedbagel 14
It might have been a smaller boat, which could tip over if weight is improperly distributed, as could be the case in this scenario.
LadyRen 20
Even with the cap off, peeing in a bottle can be hard for women. We don't have something we can just shove in a bottle easily and pee with.
hemiol 30
The snapple bottles have a pretty big opening, though. And if you know your anatomy, it's not that difficult. You don't pee out of your ******, you know.
LadyRen 20
I know where we pee out of, and even with a big opening, it can be difficult as we can't just grab hold of something and aim.
UltimateBob 11
There's not a huge hole for it to come out of, and even if she was missing she could've moved it so only a little went into the boat anyway
LokiDasWolf 9
Just shove the bottle against your urethral opening or you can always spring for a wenis (fancy funnel)
THswagPLAYA 1
try shoving a dick in a bottle shit does not fit fam
LevelupKid 8
that's not what this is about.
GhostFox 34
And exactly how drunk was she when this happened?
hemiol 30
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
How is she still alive?!
TheGermanCoon 3
She just marked her territory.
RichardPencil 32
If she took off the cap, she'd have ruined the Snapple!
gamerex23 1
It's a boat. Hose it down and move on with your life
jcash52426 5
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I would have made her clean the whole inside off the boat and wouldn't take her fishing again
runswithlions 3
Of course your dumbass wouldn't take her again because you'd be and probably are single.
sweetbliss3 37
is this why you're single, or about to be?
Cynical_1 26
Kind of fitting actually, since the last bottle of Snapple I had tasted like piss anyway. I'm not sure how she could have not noticed that the cap was still on but since urine is sterile there's no need to get too uptight. Like someone already said...hose it down and move on.
edris_305 21
Snapple is love snapple is life
ducksloveme 3
urine isn't sterile but it's not gonna hurt you
Khnz0052 5
At least you got an adventurous girlfriend. Many of the girls I know could care less about fishing.
TaoShaman 24
That counts as "adventurous"? What do the women you know do?