Today, my drunk boyfriend told me he thought of new positions for us to try in bed because it was getting boring. We haven't had sex yet. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my inebriated boyfriend and I were having sex. He rolled off of me without finishing, and said, "I'm bored." FML
Today, I finally had sex with my live-in boyfriend after a long dry spell. It was passionate and great, until I hurt my back changing positions. Now he refuses to touch me, going as far as sleeping on the couch to give me "enough space". Hello new dry spell. FML
Today, my drunk boyfriend called me by my best friend's name in bed. FML
Today, while at family dinner, my boyfriend got drunk and told my entire family the things I do in bed. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over to see me after almost a month of us not spending time together. Unfortunately, he came straight from bar-hopping with his friends and was wasted. He's currently naked in bed, cooing at his penis, and giggling like a little girl. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I fell asleep twice during sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend confessed the reason we haven’t been intimate in months is because he can’t get it up unless he is drunk. I’ve been refusing to get intimate when he’s drunk because it’s not enjoyable and mostly painful, but I still have needs. FML
Today, my rarely-romantic boyfriend finally said "I love you". Too bad he was drunk, and was talking to my vagina. FML
Today, I tried to initiate sex with my boyfriend. As I put on my most seductive moves, he ever so nicely says, "Babe, we just had sex last night. Why don't we wait a while so you've had some time to tighten back up." FML
Today, I called my boyfriend for a romantic night at home. I put on my hottest little dress, dimmed the lights, and put music on. My boyfriend stumbled in much later, drunk, and took one look at me before throwing up on my feet. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Toas7 0
"Today, my drunk boyfriend " This explains it.
efmivida 0
hes a jerk... or really weird
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (96)
efmivida 0
hes a jerk... or really weird
Noire_ 0
Maybe he thought she was his ex?
xo_emily_xo 0
maybe he was cheating? wow, dumbasses
dr_house_MD 0
stop being attention ****** and just replying to number one to get seen
dr_house_MD 0
crazycok 1. you did that also 2. no
premiermois 5
You two are retards. Shut the hell up.
awdorable 0
Crazycok= Beyond hilarious. Dude, you rule!!!
slaveowner190461 0
dr house is a ******
premiermois 5
How about I shut your **** up, k?
TheLoneWolf87 4
Aaaaaaand crazycok FTW
bbobe900000 0
HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA yep, shut his **** up. what is a ****? hahahahahaha. crazycok is awesome. except I'm not too fond of the last thing he said to premiermois, but I guess he had it coming... anyway hilarious and to the OP, he could have been talking completely out of his ass and have never actually had sex before. but also he could be talking about his ex or something... there are many possibilities
lolbitch 0
I totally agree with you!!
blackscent 0
@CRAZYCOC ROFLMAO "you know you want to" XD ******* nice..
uLtra_attitude 0
EVERYONE has secrets. http://itsasecretbut.tumblr.com/ http://itsasecretbut.tumblr.com/ http://itsasecretbut.tumblr.com/ http://itsasecretbut.tumblr.com/ http://itsasecretbut.tumblr.com/ http://itsasecretbut.tumblr.com/
6SiC6Magg0tKnot 0
lol go suk ur moms penis u fagot 78
GS430 0
SORRY......
joe_chemo2005 0
All of you had me laughing. But let's put our issues to the side. The chick that posted this should try out the positions with her boyfriend. It could be fun.
theblondefriend 0
At crazycoc: Get a life for the love of god. Seriously do you feel the need to comment EVERYTHING? And before you tell me to **** myself/suck your **** or any of the other lovely things you say, why don't you get your thirteen year old ass offline and go try and do something with your life.
sdawl 0
well he has dreaming about you
mikakarie 0
That's a very optomistic thought.
lordbane 0
who is crazycoc
balkangiirl 0
never too early to start looking for some new moves ;)
animalover721 3
Whats getting boring, is this fml
Toas7 0
"Today, my drunk boyfriend " This explains it.
AnaMaree 0
That's what you think, OP. ;)
your_face 15
Well, you should take advantage of his drunkenness to find out if he's cheating - you'll be better able to catch him off guard when he's drunk. If he's not, maybe he meant he was bored of not having sex, and thought some new positions would convince you.
hottopicthief 0
wow just wow
gp_gangsta 0
thats what she said!! =p @op maybe his saying the relationship is getting boring and new positions can be considering just starting to since u have never done it before technically they would be new positions with you.
hecuva 0
Tell him to list off the positions you've "tried" and when you "tried" them... i'm sure this will clear up any questions
iFRUiTTART 0
ouch . . . take advantage of his drunkness and ask the other girl's name . slap the shit out of the both of them . (;
dan81892 2
maybe it's a hint that he wants to start?
inspireme48 0
haha yeah take advantage of him or you know just rape him.. gosh..