Today, my drunk boyfriend told me he thought of new positions for us to try in bed because it was getting boring. We haven't had sex yet. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my inebriated boyfriend and I were having sex. He rolled off of me without finishing, and said, "I'm bored." FML
Today, I finally had sex with my live-in boyfriend after a long dry spell. It was passionate and great, until I hurt my back changing positions. Now he refuses to touch me, going as far as sleeping on the couch to give me "enough space". Hello new dry spell. FML
Today, my drunk boyfriend called me by my best friend's name in bed. FML
Today, while at family dinner, my boyfriend got drunk and told my entire family the things I do in bed. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over to see me after almost a month of us not spending time together. Unfortunately, he came straight from bar-hopping with his friends and was wasted. He's currently naked in bed, cooing at his penis, and giggling like a little girl. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I fell asleep twice during sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend confessed the reason we haven’t been intimate in months is because he can’t get it up unless he is drunk. I’ve been refusing to get intimate when he’s drunk because it’s not enjoyable and mostly painful, but I still have needs. FML
Today, my rarely-romantic boyfriend finally said "I love you". Too bad he was drunk, and was talking to my vagina. FML
Today, I tried to initiate sex with my boyfriend. As I put on my most seductive moves, he ever so nicely says, "Babe, we just had sex last night. Why don't we wait a while so you've had some time to tighten back up." FML
Today, I called my boyfriend for a romantic night at home. I put on my hottest little dress, dimmed the lights, and put music on. My boyfriend stumbled in much later, drunk, and took one look at me before throwing up on my feet. FML
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Top comments
Toas7 0
"Today, my drunk boyfriend " This explains it.
efmivida 0
hes a jerk... or really weird
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Comments (96)
macc55 2
you should of just said " ok. " and banged someone else
jethockey 0
Put out.
Clutzy_as_ever_4 0
@Crazycok grow up you're kinda immature. Just because you swear and tell everyone to go suck a dick, doesn't make you cool. And dating a drunk isn't a bad thing unless he is constantly drunk.. but once in awhile is ok. @Filmil you don't know how long they've been dating for one.. if she's still a virgin for two.. and so what if she hasn't given it up yet. And I'm sure it sucks for guys because the woman has to be ready for it, but why is it so damn important to you, you can't wait til she is ready!? @whizzkidd99 you also need to grow up! Swearing isn't so cool, and caps are annoying, and if you're going to be a pig don't bother commenting it's rude. @OP.. When he's sober ask him about it, and discuss about when you might be ready to actually have sex with him, don't rush it just because he wants it, and if he loves you enough, he can wait until you are ready. And to anyone that tries to respond to me making the comments about the immature idiots on here, because you support them, I don't want to read it, I'm not in the happiest of moods right now and plus I just heard my pap is in the hospital, so I will get defensive and tell you off as well. Thanks =)
fmltfln 0
you're a ******* retard
olisykes_ 0
@Clutzy_as_ever_4 I hope your pap dies. ******* whingy bitch. Go shove something up your ****.
septemberlovebug 0
wow, you really are a little bastard aren't you? why don't you grow the **** up.. and let your balls drop, before you go and speak to someone like that. I don't think you would appreciate someone saying that about your family now would you? I didn't think so. Peace!
whizzkidd99 0
no your a ****** retard fmltfln
septemberlovebug 0
and its you're not your... my lord, didn't you people learn this in grade school?
whizzkidd99 0
hey clutzy bitch no one cares what the **** you say im gonna go with the fine words of crazycok GO SUCK A FAT DICK thanks
PimpDaddyT 0
good thing to. dump his ass before you become " that **** I banged last night"
debbie11212 0
Yah you have to talk to him
THIS_FML_SUCKS 0
OP is a ******!
redxapplexoxo 0
WOULD ANYONE CARE TO STICK THEIR FINGER IN A DEAD DOGS ASS??????????
div01 2
110th woot!!!!
olisykes_ 0
No, you fail.