Today, my docile gerbil was startled by a car alarm. He dove into my tank top and bit straight through my nipple. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I fell asleep with my hermit crab on my bed and woke up to him pinching my nipple. FML
Today, I was making breakfast with my parrot on my shoulder. He was excited about the food, and in his rush to climb down to the counter, bit through my nipple. I had to get stitches. FML
Today, I was setting up a rat trap at the kitchen table and had just gotten it set when my phone rang. I foolishly leaned over to grab my phone, brushed against the trap, and it snapped closed on my nipple. I wasn’t wearing a bra so that thing grabbed my nipple hard and didn’t let go. FML
Today, I showed my family my new pet hamster. At the sight of him, my grandmother, who I had no idea hated rodents, let out a loud screech, causing my usually docile hamster to bite me and piss in my cupped hand. FML
Today, I somehow managed to slam my trumpet case closed on my nipple. FML
Today, I tried to take a selfie with a squirrel and it bit me. FML
Today, I found a tick half-buried in my nipple. FML
Today, while playing with my cat, she decided to give me a surprise nipple piercing with her claws. FML
Today, at 5:30 in the morning while I was fast asleep, my cat decided the most threatening thing in my apartment that absolutely needed to be attacked was my left nipple. FML
Today, I learned that my daughter's gerbils are not afraid of the vacuum cleaner. FML
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Top comments
jimmer23 21
My nipples hurt from all the way over here.
sarah5745 41
Holy shit!
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Comments (93)
Emmamazing 26
Hey, free nipple piercing! You just gotta look on the bright side
coraline123c 23
Someone already made that joke
raesos91 26
was it lefty or righty?
Ichiya 29
It was actually her nubin (third nipple) and she rather enjoyed it.
nikki465 14
That made me cringe...
trey600rr 22
guess your not into that kind of stuff huh...lol
KatPlaysMC 14
*you're
writerchic85 26
A great adventure is waiting for you ahead...
sandman676 20
Kinky
daddysgirl243 21
that sounds kinky
chuka81 27
A pet rat. Wonderful.
worldclassrager 41
Gerbil...not rat 23
Hiimhaileypotter 53
And pet rats actually are wonderful anyway. ;) They're not disease ridden or pests like most people think. They're very sweet animals that clean themselves like cats and play with you and can learn tricks like dogs.
pajamajeans 18
I have a gerbil bite scar on my finger. I can only imagine the pain that op is feeling.
91hayek 31
Some girls wouldn't call this an FML. In fact they'd buy several gerbils and install car alarms everywhere.
Miss_Syntax 15
Poor little guy. I'm sure he didn't mean it!