Today, my docile gerbil was startled by a car alarm. He dove into my tank top and bit straight through my nipple. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I fell asleep with my hermit crab on my bed and woke up to him pinching my nipple. FML
Today, I was making breakfast with my parrot on my shoulder. He was excited about the food, and in his rush to climb down to the counter, bit through my nipple. I had to get stitches. FML
Today, I was setting up a rat trap at the kitchen table and had just gotten it set when my phone rang. I foolishly leaned over to grab my phone, brushed against the trap, and it snapped closed on my nipple. I wasn’t wearing a bra so that thing grabbed my nipple hard and didn’t let go. FML
Today, I showed my family my new pet hamster. At the sight of him, my grandmother, who I had no idea hated rodents, let out a loud screech, causing my usually docile hamster to bite me and piss in my cupped hand. FML
Today, I somehow managed to slam my trumpet case closed on my nipple. FML
Today, I tried to take a selfie with a squirrel and it bit me. FML
Today, I found a tick half-buried in my nipple. FML
Today, while playing with my cat, she decided to give me a surprise nipple piercing with her claws. FML
Today, at 5:30 in the morning while I was fast asleep, my cat decided the most threatening thing in my apartment that absolutely needed to be attacked was my left nipple. FML
Today, I learned that my daughter's gerbils are not afraid of the vacuum cleaner. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
jimmer23 21
My nipples hurt from all the way over here.
sarah5745 41
Holy shit!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (93)
WolfLady 18
Definitely an FML. I have gerbils and if they are scared they really clamp down and it hurts like hell. I've only been bitten on fingers or a wrist one time breaking up a fight. I can't imagine how much it would hurt to be bitten on the nipple. Ouch!
gabby9982 11
my nipple started hurting after I read this
Emmamazing 26
You stole my joke
FlutterLoud 29
I've raised many gerbils, they can be real jerks sometimes I had one bite my nose and all I did was pick it up ;-; and it wouldn't let go
FunnyStranger 7
NUUUUUUU
calebmeasner123 6
Why was the gerbil in your shirt tho?
tlnorman 18
Ouch
CheshaKat 5
This hurts and I used to have a gerbil too
turtlemeister__ 10
I can feel the pain just from reading that! Hopefully everything will be ok!
existinggirl88 7
well hey now you have a new piercing!