Today, my docile gerbil was startled by a car alarm. He dove into my tank top and bit straight through my nipple. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I fell asleep with my hermit crab on my bed and woke up to him pinching my nipple. FML
Today, I was making breakfast with my parrot on my shoulder. He was excited about the food, and in his rush to climb down to the counter, bit through my nipple. I had to get stitches. FML
Today, I was setting up a rat trap at the kitchen table and had just gotten it set when my phone rang. I foolishly leaned over to grab my phone, brushed against the trap, and it snapped closed on my nipple. I wasn’t wearing a bra so that thing grabbed my nipple hard and didn’t let go. FML
Today, I showed my family my new pet hamster. At the sight of him, my grandmother, who I had no idea hated rodents, let out a loud screech, causing my usually docile hamster to bite me and piss in my cupped hand. FML
Today, I somehow managed to slam my trumpet case closed on my nipple. FML
Today, I tried to take a selfie with a squirrel and it bit me. FML
Today, I found a tick half-buried in my nipple. FML
Today, while playing with my cat, she decided to give me a surprise nipple piercing with her claws. FML
Today, at 5:30 in the morning while I was fast asleep, my cat decided the most threatening thing in my apartment that absolutely needed to be attacked was my left nipple. FML
Today, I learned that my daughter's gerbils are not afraid of the vacuum cleaner. FML
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Top comments
jimmer23 21
My nipples hurt from all the way over here.
sarah5745 41
Holy shit!
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Comments (93)
Abhinow 7
ydi for petting a rodent
leogachi 15
Despite the belief that all rodents are dirty (they're not), rodents are classified by their teeth and not their cleanliness. (I'm assuming you think rodents are dirty and gross based on your comment.)
piercednipple 3
I don't like to keep him confined to just his cage, so I let him out to run around often and he usually ends up crawling all over me. It would be cruel not to let him out at all.
Silk_Routes 14
and ur nipples poked out of fear n excitement
guineagirl96 38
Awe poor little guy... I'm sure he's very sorry.
thorpz24 4
am I the only one that thinks it's funny that her username is piercednipple?
thorpz24 4
am I the only one that thinks it's funny how her user name is piercednipple
blondemistress 7
just kill it...
leogachi 15
Dafuq is wrong with you?
LadyIrene 21
Wtf
BradyPatatey 8
You'll save money on a nipple piercing at least
EarlFug 19
Refraining from Richard Gere jokes, this is not a "docile" gerbil. This is a wolverine.
vidala1991 12
Owwie
Joshuarat 8
That is why your username is peircednipple