Anonymous
United States
Today, while playing with my cat, she decided to give me a surprise nipple piercing with her claws. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
ripped
Philadelphia, United States
Part of the furniture
Today, my cat used my head as a springboard and ripped my earring out with her claw. FML
scratchpost
United States
Today, my cat woke me up by sharpening his claws on my breast. FML
cdn_steed
United States
Today, at 5:30 in the morning while I was fast asleep, my cat decided the most threatening thing in my apartment that absolutely needed to be attacked was my left nipple. FML
ouchh
United States
Today, I got out of the shower to find my cat staring up at me. Apparently my swinging penis looks like a cat toy to her, so she jumped up and clawed and tried to bite it. FML
ambushcat
United States
Today, I was messing with my cat by moving my hand around under the sheets to make it look like a mouse, making him pounce at it. Without thinking, I brought my hand up to scratch my nose and was immediately attacked by flailing claws. FML
patronuscat?
Meow!
Today, I woke up in a guy's bed to one of his cats licking my nipples. FML
Anonymous
Body modification
Today, I got a nipple piercing. My girlfriend thought I was pranking her with a fake piercing, because I wouldn’t be "daft enough" to get a real one, and she yanked it off, or rather through, my nipple. Yes, it cut my poor nip in half, and I now have two nipples where once I had only one. FML
ihatecats
United States
Today, I heard my cat climbing on the counters in the kitchen. To prevent a tremendous avalanche of dishes, I picked up the cat and put it outside. She got scared from the blinds and scurried away leaving deep scratches across my nipple. I wasn't wearing a shirt. FML
Anonymous
Today, my girlfriend and I slept naked after a great night together. I awoke to a sharp pain in my penis and found our cat trying a new scratching post. FML
Oww
Cat mojo
Today, my ill-tempered cat tried to slap me in the face. She ended up sticking one of her claws as far up my nostril as it would go, and got stuck. Not only did I kinda get to experience what it feels like to be stabbed, I also got a horrible nosebleed. FML
Top comments
chazzlerazzle 0
at least it was free a lot of people have to pay a lot for one of those
afdude87 6
yes yes, because cats are no match for a mighty t shirt.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (109)
sweet_candy_ 17
Ouch.
Epilepsy_fml 0
Well someone just wanted to be first. My God, I wonder who it was?
illmatic2 16
Was it you? I bet it was you, #6. I hate the comment bug.
sweet_candy_ 17
lol I don't care if I am first.
WallyTheWombat 0
I read it as: Today, while playing with my clit... I was all o.o fml getting a little graphic.
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Cat scratch fever! Da na dun! Cat scratch feva! Baow wa waow!
Hide_Yo_Kids 0
#1,,,,ever hear of eyebrow waxing?
aardvarkish 17
46, ha ha, look who's talking. BTW, 1 has beautiful eyebrows. Why mess with perfection?
DocBastard 40
Hide Yo Kids - ever hear of not being an asshole?
talb1 7
Dude you are a douche bag.
joooeee 3
It says comment moderated, but I can imagine what was said. And 46 has some self esteem issues.
joooeee 3
and 46 has some self esteem issues
AlmightyFish 0
@70, Cats can usually claw through fabric, especially something as thin as a t-shirt. I know my cat certainly can. :P
mfmylifesrsly 30
but what about a bra?
sirdolittle 0
She wasn't wearing any ?!? And it's good, 'cause it can be really sexy !! :p
sweet_candy_ 17
lol 46 why do you care? It's not on your face.
TeaLover_fml 0
Waxing actually slows down the hair growth. Her eyebrows are nice but go in a bit too far, in my opinion. All in all, it's her choice.
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
wth r u guys all so consumed w her eye brows! geeeeez get a life
aardvarkish 17
93, because being consumed BY her eyebrows would be preposterous!
zzzBOLTzzz 1
sweet_candy_ - I think you're cute. #46 is just a jerk.
chazzlerazzle 0
at least it was free a lot of people have to pay a lot for one of those
duckie227 22
I was thinking the same thing
sammy92 0
Lolz me to
ureffinyoko68 0
lovely, shall I supply a ring for you?
Drummer_duck 0
you have nipple rings for lease? lol
rgermain 0
No kitten mittens.
awsomeroncat22 0
ydi for playing with you cat withought a shirt on
sweet_candy_ 17
lol this can still happen with a shirt on.
afdude87 6
yes yes, because cats are no match for a mighty t shirt.
Epilepsy_fml 0
Never had a cat before I presume? You incompetent baffoon. A CATS CLAWS CAN GO THROUGH A PIECE OF FABRIC. But I still love you.
boopityboppity 11
I always put on my suit of armor before playing with a cat. And I don't still love you.
likeaboss007 0
holey nipple! lame pun-.-
Epilepsy_fml 0
A better one could have been, "Quit being such a pussy!"
LightningLadyy 0
SURPRISE NIPPLE PIERCING!!!
rmg1293 0
perfect
kattylizbeth 19
Or: "are you a nun? Because you sure have a holey nipple!" haha.
taffy1239 3
meowwww. someone thinks nipple peircings are sexyyy.
boopityboppity 11
Do you have some sort of typing stutter? If not, wwwwhyyy do that?
FMLephant 2
Their keys are stick from too much ****. Could be the OP from the email Fml.
taffy1239 3
I appoligize. my computer did something strange.... then broke. (I'm on my iPod now, it's all good)
daminantion 14
90, don't iPods have spellcheck like my iPhone? last I checked it was 'apologize', just saying..
rmg1293 0
97, they do have spell check. Way to make him look like an ass
taffy1239 3
well I'm sorry if my iPod hates me.
MarineWifey88 3
My sister's dog did that to my husband once. Perfectly straight and everything. He almost got in trouble with his command when he got back from leave, they didn't believe a dog did it.
FunwithBumperCar 0
Your pussy needs better foreplay.
maybaybe 0
See a doctor or something, it could get infected.
HolyCarp 5
Yours it the only serious comment here..
Coolcolorz1 0
u should get it checked