Today, at 5:30 in the morning while I was fast asleep, my cat decided the most threatening thing in my apartment that absolutely needed to be attacked was my left nipple. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my cat woke me up by sharpening his claws on my breast. FML
Today, while playing with my cat, she decided to give me a surprise nipple piercing with her claws. FML
Today, I woke up in a guy's bed to one of his cats licking my nipples. FML
Today, my cat woke me up at 3 a.m. by jumping from the shelf and landing on my nutsack. FML
Today, I didn't realize my cat was sleeping in the room with me until she decided to jump on me in the middle of the night, resulting in a critical hit to my groin. FML
Today, I heard my cat climbing on the counters in the kitchen. To prevent a tremendous avalanche of dishes, I picked up the cat and put it outside. She got scared from the blinds and scurried away leaving deep scratches across my nipple. I wasn't wearing a shirt. FML
Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend, he had his head on my chest and we both fell asleep. Suddenly, I woke up by my boyfriend biting my nipple, hard, in his sleep. I now need to go to the pharmacy because of a bleeding nipple. FML
Today, my cat jumped on my chest while I was sleeping and head-butted my nose to show she loves me. It was hard enough to crack it. FML
Today, I was messing with my cat by moving my hand around under the sheets to make it look like a mouse, making him pounce at it. Without thinking, I brought my hand up to scratch my nose and was immediately attacked by flailing claws. FML
Today, I fell asleep with my hermit crab on my bed and woke up to him pinching my nipple. FML
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Top comments
Doortje 30
Nipples are very dangerous things. Especially left ones. Your cat was just trying to look out for you.
randomboy18 0
that pussy just wanted some milk
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Comments (135)
esu 5
ouch
xXxJaGsTeRxXx 11
kitty wants milk!!!!!
RainbowHeadache 2
Thank you, Op. This made my day. I've been woken up to my cat leaping onto my face & tearing it apart.
MissMittens 0
not you're gorgeous face !!! :o :(
kocoman500 2
36- I know EXACTLY what u mean :)
RainbowHeadache 2
You either get scratched or they lay on your face and smother you like a ****** up crushing ****. lol
morgan320 0
OP don't be a pussy!
emmy1794 3
heyy I'm new on here wat does op mean ???
testthecoal 5
orgasmic primate
lmw562 3
original poster
SuperDerp 8
if ops a chick i guess the cst was lenjoying the clevage
xerxes190 3
lame, 92
kocoman500 2
lmaoo well put RainbowHeadache, well put ;)
DavLynn 4
oh it most really be horrendous
DavLynn 4
must*
chaosdragn16 2
Blue..... Waffle....
The_Moustache 6
^wait wut.
roro9944 0
stop it 28
lifesucks1234567_fml 2
that cat is a bitch no offense
number1beaner 0
the cat just thought you wanted a nipple piercing he was just helping making the hole
austindale96 3
wow Kitty Not Want Nipple in House!!!
MyScrewedUpLifeS 0
LOL cute win fail "puppy not want!!!!!"
lerouxmaster 7
Cute Win Fail kitty not want is way funnier !
randomboy18 0
that pussy just wanted some milk
agaba 0
WIN
girlygirl33 0
he'll yeah
andyyroxx 20
autocorrect yeah
denaysanders 0
yummy
Doortje 30
Nipples are very dangerous things. Especially left ones. Your cat was just trying to look out for you.
marijuanasmoker4 3
I agree the cat took the correct course of action in this situation.
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Op had breast cancer! Now they don't! Thank goodness they had such a sweet pussy ;D
CassSanchez 5
LOL ! ^^
JakeLee 6
16 You are one of the worst trolls I've ever seen.
Perksofbeingawal 0
You still got your right, right? ;)
Tuesdays76 0
you only need one.
alex6946 10
your picture is ADORABLE! I love that movie! :)
Perksofbeingawal 0
Awe, thanks! :D I know she's sucha cutieee. <3
Derek321 2
Man, that sucks, but I'm afraid YDI for having a Cat. It seems that most cat owners (I've had 2) get scratched up from time to time. Get a dog, -Ty
melbadelb 0
as a cat owner myself I agree . you'll get scratched from time to time and in places you really don't want it too . if you don't want to deal with that then I suggest you take the cat to a shelter and get a dog :)
makenna2011 6
I've had my cat and dog for about the same time and I've had way more scratches/bruises from my dog
maa_rico 4
*********** FTW!
kocoman500 2
... Srsly?? tell me did not just say beastially. do u even kno what it is??
A7X_LoVeee 10
Sure, if you piss your cat off then it'll scratch.
FMLandurstoo 9
way to be a judgmental douche
gigglezbabii22 2
You can always get your cat declawed, then it won't have anything to scratch with...
kyuhyunn 0
My old dog but my cheek off when I was little. I'll stick with cats.
deadman93 8
i cannot think of a witty comment for this.....
womanjesus 0
then dont comment
poiuytjfffc 0
^sTFu that was a witty comment u dumbass