Today, I ordered Chinese food. As I approached the restaurant to pick it up, I took out my keys and tried to unlock the front door. By the time I realized my mistake, everyone inside the restaurant had noticed and started laughing at me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I tried to unlock my house's front door by hitting the unlock button on my car keys. It took me some time to realize my mistake. FML
Today, I was in a rush to meet some friends for brunch, and I arrived first. The restaurant door was locked, so I knocked. A waiter opened the door and stared at me with confusion before saying, “This isn’t the entrance, ma’am.” It wasn’t until I walked around the corner and saw the correct door that I realized I had been standing at the employee entrance the entire time. FML
Today, I was exhausted after a long day at work and didn't feel like cooking so I went to a drive thru. I placed my order, went to the window and paid. I then drove off without my food and didn't realize it for a couple of blocks. I was too embarrassed to go back and get it. FML
Today, I ordered fries at a drive-thru, then drove away without paying. Realizing my mistake, I panicked and circled back, only to drive past the window again. The worker just stared at me as if I was pulling off the slowest robbery in history. FML
Today, I ordered enough takeout for 3 people. When the delivery guy smiled and asked, "Family dinner?" I panicked and said, "They're parking." Even though I know that the delivery guy doesn't really give a shit, I stood outside my apartment for 5 minutes pretending to wait for imaginary relatives before going back inside alone. FML
Today, I ordered DoorDash to my home. I sat outside waiting for it, starving, when my husband came out, laughing at me. The DoorDasher had called, I'd accidently sent it to my work. FML
Today, I needed to relax, so I ordered room service at my hotel. When I was finished, I went to put the tray outside, not thinking about needing a key to get back in. I locked myself out of my room, wearing smiley face underwear in a $250 a night hotel. I had to go to the lobby to get a new key. FML
Today, my friend asked me to order take out for him because he gets nervous on phones. I called a Chinese restaurant, only to get nervous, and hang up. FML
Today, I realized I'd lost my wallet when paying for groceries. I had to put all the items back and leave the store feeling so embarrassed in front of everyone. FML
Today, I locked myself out of my dorm room. I walked across campus, shoe-less and in nothing but my bathrobe, to find someone who could let me back in. Turns out I hadn't even shut the door properly and so it never actually locked. I can still hear the guy laughing at me. FML
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Top comments
ElainaCutsYou 0
Sum Ting Wong?
gonad_gobbler 1
wow, everyone in the restaurant must adoor you now.
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Comments (112)
mpj13 8
Embarrassing
DontModMeDammit 10
It's probably because your not a monkey.
DontModMeDammit 10
You're*
juicystar777 4
what do you call a man taking out a Chinese girl? Chinese takeout! haha did you guys get it? :DDD
choshaki 8
47. No I didn't. Can you please explain??!
juicystar777 4
sure :) ^ alright well, he was taking the Chinese girl out. so it's like when you take food out but she's a girl. and she's Chinese. so it's Chinese takeout! it's quite humorous once you understand it :D hope that helped!!
jadolan 3
47 how did you not get it
schnouttz 3
reading the last 4 comments made me deeply depressed -_-
kerrwoof 13
I'm preeetty sure 51 was just being sarcastic..
b0ngs 7
*facepalm* *facedesk* *facebook* *faceconcrete* 52- you eiather are trolling in the deep or you're actually stupid...
buck33 14
Juicystar777 kills my brain cells. Or maybe she's just a major troll... Either way my head hurts
silentbutfunny 0
66 i think facebook comes before facedesk
urdirtyolduncle 15
Juicystar777 is very, very blonde.
MissMae93 23
Juicy, you should probably stick with reading the FMLs and comments rather than trying to make a funny comment. The "takeout" joke was not even remotely funny and the fact that you didn't catch on to such obvious sarcasm worries me.
BarDownDaily 12
Thanks.
ohxdamnxkay02 12
Op you should of just laughed it off... its really not that embarrassing.
anthonydude 9
No shit Sherlock.
ohxdamnxkay02 12
i guess my name is Sherlock PFFT..loser
I_Am_Chris 0
Holy crap you sound so annoying and arrogant.
Buzzy123 7
That happens to the best of us.
silentbutfunny 0
I havent tried to unlock random doots with my car keys...
indielove 13
No. . .not really.
GoW_Chick 15
Me either, but then again I have no idea what a 'doot' is.
redbluegreen 41
I think it's a butt thing.
asoptavlo14 6
Definitely a butt thing.
MuziKMajoR 5
Does it really happen to the best of us??? It never happened to me.....well I'm far from the best so I just don't know
choshaki 8
It really does!! Once I went to unlock a car that looked just like mine. Put my keys in the lock, then realized it was already open, I even got in the car then realized it wasn't mine. Embarrassing!! We all have our moments.
silentbutfunny 0
-.- door... Hehe doot
hawkey126 0
Those Asians. Always in your damn house.
luanne2010 0
Does he go that often to think he's home when he gets there? :P
MissNicky_fml 0
love your pic
riax 9
One time I got home and was supposed to take my shoes off, but some reason I thought I was in the bathroom, so I took my pants off instead LOL
kewlaidman10 15
Damn...
ElainaCutsYou 0
Sum Ting Wong?
user12345678901 0
Ching Ching chong!
goldfishgod 20
Worst username ever. ^
zachherbert 10
No Ting Wong.
DeadxManxWalking 27
38- Seen worse.
mannymaack 0
Classic Chinese joke
KeyboardWarrior 10
62 You don't say?
duckymomoxoxo123 0
ho
CockAsian 14
Why you makey fun of how me talk?
Sumo69 9
You should of yell honey I am home
VasilisaUzhasnaj 29
I hate to do this but: "should have." (also "yelled") Seriously, why do so many of you spell it that way? "Should of" is a mistake small children usually make.
xkayxkayx 5
You have a big nose.
TheFakeFamilyGuy 10
#5 Once again making a shitty comment
Bekll 31
8, I actually grade homework assignments from 7th graders and see "could/should/would of" quite often. What's troubling is when adults do that too.
VasilisaUzhasnaj 29
That's extremely sad. I know why they do it, because it's spoken as "could've/should've/would've," but..shit, that really should be a mistake small children make. By the way, your profile pic is hilarious.
teejayx7 0
Quit being grammar nazis, it's the ******* internet.
mffp 9
I always do this was the back gate at my house. :(
KeyboardWarrior 10
O rly?
rocker_chick105 31
Why you no understand?!
Redoxx_fml 22
"Oh my god it's Ethan Hawke!"
gracejcw 3
email?
gonad_gobbler 1
wow, everyone in the restaurant must adoor you now.
alexup24 13
I was gonna correct you, then I saw it... you got jokes kid.
coldashell 23
You no focus. You rack disciprine.
micahsmommy 13
Why that white man try to lock us in?