Today, my brother decided deodorant causes cancer. He goes to the gym every day. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, my brother's refused to shower after 2 weeks of dripping sweat and never changing clothes. He claims the smell is just his "manly musk" and if I can't handle it, then maybe I'm the problem. FML
Stinky boi
Today, I noticed a disgusting odor that seemed to be radiating off my brother. When I asked him about it, he replied, "I think it's ball sweat. I haven't had a shower in a few weeks, so it's hard to tell." FML
Dude, gross!
Today, I discovered my brother likes to use our kitchen utensils to scratch his private areas. FML
Today, my boyfriend announced he has stopped wearing deodorant because he thinks his BO smells "manly." FML
OK sweaty, time for a bath
Today, I realized my morbidly obese, sweaty sibling is the source of a strange waft I've been smelling when I get home. He'll only shower once a week, so the apartment and furniture smell like sweat and sometimes poo, especially on hot days. I didn't notice until I went outside and stepped back in to follow my nose. FML
Today, my pre-teen brother has started using the entire Axe line because he believes that it will give him an "edge with the ladies". He insists on using the products at least three times a day, including before bedtime. I'm allergic to anything that is perfumed. We share a room. FML
Today, I taught my 12-year-old brothers that showering cannot be used as a substitute for deodorant, and that they should use both. One of them was almost in tears. FML
Today, in a fit of jealousy over my recent muscle growth, my brother told our mom that I've only been going to the gym so I could smoke weed with my friends. She believed him and grounded me. FML
Today, my brother thought it would be absolutely hilarious to replace my cold sore cream with superglue. FML
Today, I had to use anti-perspirant deodorant under my breasts. FML
Top comments
drealmorales 2
Very smart man. He's going to live for a very long time after that
RavenDesired 10
That must smell gorgeous.
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Comments (185)
lifeisbullshiz 3
first! - but that's gross - I hope they toss him from the gym for stinking up the joint! & I hope you've stocked up in fragrances that can block that horrible smell!
demolitionloverf 0
Yo
Insane_Tea 15
Ho
THE_A_TEEN 28
If you're first, then that means you're a ugly, trolling, virgin, lonely, genital-less, hairless, toothless, inbred moron. Good for you, mate.
THE_A_TEEN 28
#1 was deleted because he said a word that starts with F and rhymes with Thirst.
drealmorales 2
Very smart man. He's going to live for a very long time after that
Naitsi 19
Yes, but he will smell like a dead person
alival 12
Maybe u could get him some cologne?
Justwannacoment 7
Wheres comment number 1?
skullcandifiedDJ 5
hopefully, he showers everyday...
felipe87 2
Arm and hammer makes a deodorant called essentials that is aluminum and paraben free
changesinme 0
Hopefully one day he doesn't decide he can cure aids and start ******* everything that moves
Meowingtons500 18
It's the aluminum that is carcinogenic. Quite a few healthier brands make a more natural alternative, like The Body Shop and Melaleuca. The Body Shops deodorant is called DeoDry, and uses volcanic minerals and essential oils. It actually works! And no, I don't work there.:)
Meowingtons500 18
Clearly.
KateWesley44 0
#30 this comment made me laugh so hard.
amanda_say_whutt 9
33- didn't ya' hear that water also causes cancer ?
graham11 14
I'd probably start becoming better friends with your brother because sooner or later no one is going to want to be around him anymore...
elephantom12 9
30 - your name sounds an awful lot like Nazi...
brown4lifejot 1
60-LMFAO
iluvcupkakes 0
Ya but alone.
Right_Click 12
I just want to know how he came to that deduction. Sounds like the kind of man that could fix our economy.
CH1CKEN_FL1PPEN 4
Can anybody tell me one thing that doesn't cause cancer? Almost everything does nowadays
bamagrl410 31
Us sitting in front of our computers/phones reading this will give us cancer too... Ah well. Challenge accepted.
RavenDesired 10
That must smell gorgeous.
DrDilllonReese 12
Gorgeous isn't a word used to describe scents...
SilverInGray 25
Obviously it can be.
DrDilllonReese 12
Or it can't and the statement makes no sense
bananagrams 9
You make no sense
graham11 14
This argument makes no sense.. Who gives a crap if gorgeous describes a scent or not!
rabbittboi 18
46 - gorgeous |ˈgôrjəs|adjective beautiful; very attractive: gorgeous colors and exquisite decoration. • informal very pleasant: a short but gorgeous hot summer. I'd say it can describe aural, olfactory, tactile, oral and visual stimuli without any issue.
Meowingtons500 18
DrDilllonReece is quite nonsensical. Do you confer? :)
Meowingtons500 18
DrDillon is very nonsensical. Do you confer? And just the other day the clerk at Sephora described Yves Saint Laurents new fragrance to me as "gorgeous." So obviously it is a legit smell describing word. Some peoples children.. :)
Meowingtons500 18
Glitchy app, sorry guys. Ever since I downloaded the new version it's sucked :(
DrDilllonReese 12
Some peoples children are going further places than you ever will...
cj7geojeep 0
151. You're not one of them.
DrDilllonReese 12
Yeah, I forgot you know me and everything about me. I'll enjoy being your boss one day, I'm out.
fallensnow143 6
110- nerd
ninjuh_wingman 29
He still showers though right?
TheEpicPies 15
omg hope so!
me_gusta_eso 1
Nope that causes cancer too.
graham11 14
Soon he might start thinking cancer is contagious so he won't want to be around anyone who uses deodorant or showers..
Justin23L 2
Along with sunshine. And happiness and rainbows.
ShakeMeDown 12
126- if that was true California wouldn't exist.
CaptainDoorknob 7
Reports indicate that daily showering may administer a lethal dose of AIDS.
rosie981 3
Ooo! Nothing but the great smell of B.O.!!!! Sucks for you. ;)
cuppycake11 0
Yup STINKY!!
TheJessica10022 6
Febreeze!! Works everytime.
JustinComments 3
So does Deodorant.
FollowMe 2
We are talking if they dot use deodorant, then Febreeze works. Ofcoarse we know deodorant works, Silly ! xD
iam_yummylicious 12
"dot"/"ofcoarse" Canadians and their bad spelling...
5t3ff1k4h 47
^ I can spell better than the lot of you, and I'm Canadian. He has no excuse for the "ofcoarse", but the "dot" is clearly a typo. Stupid Americans and their assuming they're better than everyone else. Get off your high horse.
staythirsty 2
91- nice comma.
brown4lifejot 1
85-Excuse me?? Well if thats what you think of Canadians, you should see what we think of most Americans. Americans and their ignorant attitudes. 93- Nice capitilization.
brown4lifejot 1
Where in my comment did i complain about stereotypes? I just responded to 85's comment.
marinus_fml 20
Ya'll should move to Australia!
cruxx 0
Sometimes I wish I was born on an island away from all the stereotypes.
brown4lifejot 1
118-Im sure we'll find you there too ;)
5t3ff1k4h 47
103 - That was the point. I was trying to make whoever I replied to have an epiphany. *facepalm* 114 - Australia? Where everything is constantly trying to kill you?
Meowingtons500 18
Except for the koala bears! I hear they can be quite hospitable. :)
Shleebs 12
114- If you're from Africa, why are you white?
iam_yummylicious 12
You guys were trollolololololololed so hard. 91: I don't think I'm better than other countries. I was just being douche. 100: You guys may hate us, but your country as a whole is pretty dependent on us. 65% of your exports come from the US. 75% of your exports go to the US. We're also Canada's largest investor with 100s of billions of dollars invested in your economy. Not to mention military arrangements...
brown4lifejot 1
Pfft! We give you wood to build your houses. Canada is much larger than the USA and yet we are still thought of the little sister, ya right more like the tall middle child that got no attention. Im not saying America is bad but look who started this argument. You all get Hollywood, most internet websites are made there and then no one from Canada can watch any of the good quality vidoes because the good old "only America can watch this" pops up each time and thats when half of the population swears at America. You give us stereotypes such as we all have pet mooses, we say "ey" 24/7, and run around in snow with plaided shirts. B.C does'nt even have much snow at all. You all have Hollywood to get rid of the stereotypes for you and be all "America is the center of the Universe". We don't do less than you all we just don't get any credit for our work. Also yes this is the longest FML comment i have ever posted and for the grammar nazis im sorry for any spelling mistakes. ;)
YayFlameWarz 9
What doesn't these days? Soon Moonlight will cause cancer, and when that day comes I've got my tanning booth ready.
julian24245 0
Tanning booths cause cancer.
mommabear0823 12
Instead of listing off what causes cancer, how about we list off what doesn't.
Meowingtons500 18
Broccoli is the food with the most cancer preventing agents. :)
Justin23L 2
Apparently the auditorium ceiling in middle school caused cancer...
_MissyJennifer_ 0
That's fricken gross :/
EvilCupcake8361 9
if he can't put deodorant on then why not shower after?
kaylee777 0
or he could try natural deoderant... :)
wlfmanjack 5
I suppose your parents aren't gonna do anything about this?
THE_A_TEEN 28
You imply that your brother used deoderant before. Tell him he already has cancer due to his previous use of deoderant. Now sit back and watch the ride.
brown4lifejot 1
Deodorant*