Today, in a fit of jealousy over my recent muscle growth, my brother told our mom that I've only been going to the gym so I could smoke weed with my friends. She believed him and grounded me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom accused me of smoking weed. Truth is, I'd just ripped the quietest and weirdest smelling fart of my life. She wouldn't believe me, accused me of making stupid excuses up, and grounded me. FML
Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML
Today, my dad found out I recently tried weed. He called me a useless waste of air and grounded me for the rest of the year. Then he went outside and smoked his third cigarette of the morning. FML
Today, I tried to blackmail my dad by threatening to tell mom about the bong and weed he keeps hidden in the garage. Turns out she already knew about it and neither of them give a shit. Now I'm grounded until the new year. FML
Today, my parents grounded me for finding their stash of weed. The irony is killing me right now. FML
Today, I found out that my father faked his whole "mid-life crisis", just so he could gain my trust and get me to admit that I smoke weed, and to tell him who I buy it from. Hello year-long grounding. FML
Today, my mom grounded me for smoking cigarettes. I'm 13. I don't smoke. She said she smelled it on my clothes. I laughed and said I was in the basement, and used one of my dad's cig's to simulate a house on fire on my train layout. She didn't believe me. Honestly, I wouldn't believe that story either. FML
Today, I woke up early, went to the gym, then came home and showered. When I went into my room to change, my mom woke up and started pounding on my door, screaming about how lazy and useless I was for sleeping so late. When I tried to tell her otherwise, she grounded me for "talking back". FML
Today, my mom found out about my brother smoking. She calmly discussed smoking with him. On the other hand, I got yelled at and made to do chores all day despite having a university exam, just because I knew about it but I didn't tell her, because I knew that I would get the short end of the stick. FML
Today, I baked some brownies and after my mom ate one, I joked that I put weed in them. Turns out the placebo effect's a bitch, because she quickly started acting high as a kite. One bitch fit later, the brownies are in the trash and I'm grounded until I tell her where I bought the "weed". FML
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Top comments
Dark__Angel66 24
Even though you're grounded, don't let that stop you from working out! Congrats for all your hard work, don't let your brother's jealousy get in the way :)
lanco_fml 10
stay true to your self and out a breeding on your brother
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Comments (77)
lanco_fml 10
stay true to your self and out a breeding on your brother
tiana000 12
And while you're at it, revenge might be nice
omgitsmoe 26
I think OP have a new punching bag at home
His_Holiness 18
If OP hasn't smoked any he could just ask for a drug test to prove it
tjv3 10
Go to the drug store Get a home drug test. Pee in the cup Show your mom Dump cup on your brother's head Go back to gym
Zazoo1995 23
#LegalizeMarijuana
Xatraris 38
This isn't Twitter. We can stop with the hash tags.
Jaaared_ 15
3, just look at his profile pic. He even looks like an idiot.
Dark__Angel66 24
Even though you're grounded, don't let that stop you from working out! Congrats for all your hard work, don't let your brother's jealousy get in the way :)
MCRaddict15 15
Exactly. OP should make a show of working out/stretching at home and continue working hard.
MissBubblesXoxo 17
Orrr since you are lot stronger now, you may kick the jealousy outta your brother's ass and teach that liar a lesson :)
domolovesyoshi 33
that's going to go down well with their mother
Miss_Latina 13
Haters gonna hate!
HeyHeyFishFillet 34
Potatoes gonna potate.
fml121785 14
Tomatoes gonna mate!
Forenzics 10
Every time I see that phrase haters gonna hate I think of this in my head lmao
lishajoy777 14
Well did you?
Obey_StudBoii 23
Read the FML again.
MrSassypants 34
But I can't read. :(
Pwn17 25
Wait, how did you read the comment saying to read if you can't read? ...I've got my eyes on you.
starile 20
Poor little illiterate pokemon. Just rustle back into the forest and wait for some Bug Catcher to wade into the tall grass. Then smoke it, since OP isn't.
MrSassypants 34
#38 I couldn't read your question.... I mean what question?
Melix 31
Did she let you explain that your brother was lying or did she still shut you down?
MrSassypants 34
OP did try to tell her but the mom struck back with the statement that "GYM" was an acronym that stood for "Getting Yummy Marijuana."
YoshiPL 8
33 you just made my day
JaegerMayCry 13
Wait, that's what gym stands for? I been doing it all wrong! screw working out, fluorescent dragons with gutars here I come!
anitriarose 5
63 - what's a gutar
worldclassrager 41
Take your brother with you..,or work out at home a bit more...
HeyHeyFishFillet 34
OP should not have to do either of those things. His brother should just not be an asshole.
worldclassrager 41
His brother is jealous so he might want to know a few tricks to weightlifting...
lanco_fml 10
stay true to your self..jealousy is easier to obtain then muscle
singer0421 32
Jealousy is a bitch.
sunnyray812 42
Nobody goes to the gym to smoke weed. Your mom should've believed you. Plus your brother has no proof.
reeses_pieces12 7
Haha, yes they do. That's actually a more common excuse than you'd think! Going to the gym, going to the library, taking a walk in the park to enjoy the weather, helping your friends' parents with gardening or cleaning the garage...We had a very fit, literate, nature-appreciative nature-appreciating, helpful community of teenagers when I was growing up.
reeses_pieces12 7
*nature-appreciating (just once, so much for careful editing...)
MikeonFML 17
In a condensed and blunt form of the comment above, teens lie about going to the gym to smoke weed elsewhere. You're correct most don't smoke at the gym itself