Today, I thought I'd spice things up by kissing my husband on the lips and then working my way down. But about halfway, I got some of his chest hairs lodged in my throat and started gagging. To avoid ruining the mood, I kept going, silently gagging, until we finished. I swallowed the hair. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while making out, my clean-shaven husband pulled away because he could feel my lip hairs tickling him. I thought he was making a joke so I called him a tosser and walked away. Later I checked in the mirror and there they were, two black hairs swinging in the breeze right under my nose. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. Trying to be suave, he put a Kool-Fruit between his teeth and motioned for me to kiss him so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do so, I inhaled, swallowing it. He then had to watch me dry-retching as I tried to get it back up. FML
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. He held a Kool Fruit in his teeth, and motioned for me to kiss him, so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do this, I inhaled. He then had to watch me dry retching, trying to get it back up. FML
Today, instead of pushing me away or simply stopping for a minute, my girlfriend kept kissing me as she was trying to get phlegm out of her throat. The slimy goo ended up in the back of my mouth. I can still taste it. FML
Today, I was watching a romantic comedy at my boyfriend's house. During the make out scene, I decided to go in for a kiss. He apparently decided to belch at the same time. I could taste it. FML
Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend, when things got a little frisky and we started making out. It was my first time French-kissing, and apparently he has a very sensitive gag reflex, because the moment my tongue went in, he started retching, and vomited moments later. FML
Today, after making out with this guy, our tongue piercings got stuck together. After about five minutes of trying to unlock them, I accidentally vomited a little in his mouth. FML
Today, I tried to be sexy by pulling down my girlfriend's panties with my teeth. I didn't expect to be faced with the mother of all shit stains and start gagging so bad I nearly puked. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting heated. I kissed her on the neck, chest, stomach, and threw up as I kissed between her legs. FML
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Top comments
thebestwooods 7
You are a trooper and he's a lucky man
RedCronos 17
The fact that you went through with it is impressive
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Comments (66)
loserman67 36
Did you swallow anything along with the hair? Maybe to wash it down?
CaptainSmith28 19
Please leave
Lalala579121 28
Saliva.
Grisha_fml 18
LMFAO
gatorclay97 28
I thought this was funny...
thebestwooods 7
You are a trooper and he's a lucky man
sirrubberduckie 37
*cough* Trouper. *cough* :)
WhiteMagickz 16
No. That's wrong
CaliNative23 2
one for the books.
babagee 2
Your a keeper
awesomeamandas 37
And your grammar sucks.
the_rad_brad47 18
Your cancer
trinalporpus 25
You're*
jcash52426 5
When I read this all I can picture is you choking on his chair and then throwing up all over his chest area. What I don't get is why you didn't just stop. You need to learn to be sexy another way if that what you want to do.
Lalala579121 28
Which FML were you reading exactly? Pretty sure this one doesn't involve a chair, let alone someone choking on it.
jcash52426 5
I hate the auto correct on my phone. Chair is suppose to be hair
RedCronos 17
The fact that you went through with it is impressive
JosephKorso 15
You're a keeper, and any man would be lucky to have you.
sohigh10 34
Awh.. you're impressive for continuing, but shouldn't sex be fun, or at least not horribly uncomfortable, for both?
printz_zsuzsi 11
My thoughts exactly. (Or maybe I am just jealous because I would have definitely stopped to remove the hair.)
tygerarmy 35
Sex should be comfortable for both. But occasionally something awkward happens. And stopping ruins the mood, and/or makes your partner feel unsexy, or like they did something wrong. OP is an amazing partner. Was there no way to keep it sexy and get rid of that hair?
9a_z1 11
You're clearly more dedicated to the cause of sexiness than me. I've got to the point where the sight of me scrambling to get hairs out of my mouth probably turns my partner on due to some sort of pavlovian response.
Kakapo4Ever 11
******* gross
TyransaurasREKT 3
Screw your husband, that's disgusting. But your a champ though and he doesn't even ******* know how lucky he is.
SordidPeanut_ 8
The husband didn't do anything? Not all men are perfectly hairless. There's no reason to be upset with OP's husband for something he can't control. Not all men are comfortable with manscaping either.
chewsef 17
A little too agro for no reason.
ChromeThunder 5
What husband do? Angry at nothing.
Tripartita 45
It's like you starred in a bizarre hair fetish porno, but the writer didn't have that particular fetish, so they used Word's find-and-replace to swap out all instances of "cum" with "hair".
ewildawe 9
I sincerely hope no-one has "chest cums"