Dude, gross!

Today, I found out that my little brother has been rubbing my toothbrush in dog shit for the last month because I accidentally broke one of his toys. FML

Today, I was teasing my little brother. Later that night, I went to the bathroom to wash up. While I'm brushing my teeth, my little brother slips a photo under the door that shows him scrubbing my toothbrush against his nuts. FML

Weird dude of the day

Today, I caught my 29 year-old brother-in-law scratching his poison ivy with a handful of forks before putting them back in the drawer. I called him on it and he huffed, "You've never said anything before." FML

Today, I had to remove my brother's pubic hairs from the bathtub before bathing my son. FML

Revenge is sweet

Today, I found out my sister scratches her butt with my toothbrush every time she is mad with me. FML

Today, my baby brother learned to remove his nappy. He immediately used this new skill to shit all over my room. FML

Today, during a family dinner, I witnessed my younger brother casually slip his hand down the back of his pants, take it out, sniff each finger individually, before stirring his hand in his spaghetti and continue to eat normally. I was the only one who saw this. FML

Today, my brother tried to ninja-kick his dirty underwear up into his hand. He failed and it landed on my face. FML

Déjà vu

Today, my 20 year-old self, who works shift work, learned by accident that my 14 year-old brother has been using my toothbrush for the past 6+ months. I wouldn't have known due to my schedule until just now when I found it was wet. He admitted it, but was upset with me for using HIS toothbrush. It has my name on it. FML

Sharing is caring

Today, I caught my sister using my shaver to trim her pubic hair. FML