Today, my pre-teen brother has started using the entire Axe line because he believes that it will give him an "edge with the ladies". He insists on using the products at least three times a day, including before bedtime. I'm allergic to anything that is perfumed. We share a room. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my 13-year-old son discovered Axe. Axe shower gel. Axe shampoo. Axe body spray. All at once. FML
Today, my son sprayed Axe body-spray all over the house in the vain hope of covering up the scent of the joints he'd been smoking. FML
Today, my brother's refused to shower after 2 weeks of dripping sweat and never changing clothes. He claims the smell is just his "manly musk" and if I can't handle it, then maybe I'm the problem. FML
Today, my brother decided deodorant causes cancer. He goes to the gym every day. FML
Today, I taught my 12-year-old brothers that showering cannot be used as a substitute for deodorant, and that they should use both. One of them was almost in tears. FML
Today, my boyfriend's mom got him a shitload of Axe for his birthday. Now I get nauseous whenever I go near him. FML
Today, my 12-year-old son and 13-year-old daughter sprayed themselves with a ton of deodorant and perfume respectively. The two clouds of spray have combined into a noxious gas that slowly traveled through the house, giving everybody an instant, massive headache. Everybody, except my son and daughter. They think they smell great. FML
Today, my brother got the same cologne as the guy I've been seeing for a while. Every time I'm with my brother I think about him, and every time I'm with him I think about my brother. FML
Today, I discovered my brother likes to use our kitchen utensils to scratch his private areas. FML
Today, my brother came out of the shower and sat with my mom and me on the couch. He then says he liked the idea of the extra toothbrush in the shower, it helps him clean between his toes. I have been using that to brush my teeth for the last two weeks. FML
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Top comments
McNikk 15
Axe him to stop.
tupelo 6
Ugh.. I wish guys didn't think using a shitload of Axe makes them smell good.
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Comments (118)
goingsolo211 8
You could say that is a ... stinky situation
aKaClickZ 4
That was pretty bad....
Queensland 27
Where did the shit puns on FML come from lately? Where is this secret society?
Koppol 15
23 They call themselves the PPP: Pretty Pathetic Punners
simonsaysYDI 8
The puns have always been here and I'll take shitty puns over, "FIRST!!" any day.
FML_Whale 18
40 - Personally I like the smell of it, but most males I have come in contact with basically bathe in it and make the smell overpowering and sickening. With perfumes: less is more.
alchemist27 13
I think I love you
perdix 31
And one of the symptoms of your allergy is "incestuous thoughts or actions?" That's what the Axe ads would have you believe.
liblob 6
can some one please tell me where it says op is a girl?
ArtinHopar 16
Next to her username.
liblob 6
all it says is anoymous..
sabbyheartswhat 23
That little symbol, looks like a circle with a stick pointing down, next to anonymous means female. The other one looking like an arrow is for males. :) "Now you know!!"
dav3800 7
Incest is best.
MerrikBarbarian 9
Kick him out of the room? If he refuses you can learn all sorts of great things online like how to throw a lasso and hog tie someone. Not that I would ever need to look such things up... *looks innocent*
goose12321 11
I reckon. It's amazing how inconsiderate some people are, especially to family. I know if my sibling was allergic to something, there'd be no way I would've been allowed to buy it (not that I'd want to anyway if I found out they were allergic).
tupelo 6
Ugh.. I wish guys didn't think using a shitload of Axe makes them smell good.
summerguy97 16
Wow! Axe helped me pick up all these girls! Said no one ever.
Allornone 35
We all wish that
etoilenuit 15
If douchebag were a smell it would be axe. Bleh!
CrissyyyS2 22
Old Spice is where it's at. I actually don't know how Old Spice smells like. O.S > Axe commercials.
IStoleTheCookies 16
My grandad uses Old Spice, it's actually quite nice. It's more of a "mature" mans cologne though.
buckerado 19
I use Old Spice despite the rest of my football team's use of Axe. They spray it on everything they can and the locker room smells like every scent mixed together. Axe is most likely a great product, but a little bit of Axe goes a long way. Most guys "spray that sh!t on everything!"
NostalgiaFreak9 43
I'm a guy and I agree with this. And girls shouldn't use a shitload of perfume.
McNikk 15
Axe him to stop.
RedPillSucks 33
Axe him until he stops.
Ian7890 23
28 Why did you just say pretty much the same thing as the comment you replied to?
aurynforever 14
47 - because the first guy meant ask. The second guy meant 'axe him'. Like with an actual axe.
buckerado 19
I can see "Axe bombs" in the near future...
Wizardo 34
Go all Jason X on his ass and show him the real Axe effect, while you scare the crap out of him with a real axe... you'd be surprised with the results.
McNikk 15
Axe him to stop.
Obey_StudBoii 23
Quit trying to post the same comment twice. We get your point.
McNikk 15
Sorry. It was a mistake. My connection is wierd.
BntyHntrSeattle 30
Invite him to chop wood in the backyard. Oh wait...not that Axe... the worse kind o.O Your bro is a bitch.
McNikk 15
Axe him to stop.
Obey_StudBoii 23
You're an idiot for posting the same comment 3 times.
Dracoboxer357 36
11- Yay, hat trick! :D Wanna go for a forth? ;)
CrissyyyS2 22
I don't know about anyone else... I don't think Axe smells good at all.
Wowxoxo 17
The Phoenix scent smells good..
CharresBarkrey 16
It all smells like shaving cream to me personally.
CrissyyyS2 22
I don't know how Phoenix smells. My boyfriend said he rather use female deodorants or body sprays. If he had to choose something from Axe it would be Kilo.