Today, my boyfriend told me that having sex with me was as good as eating crispy bacon. I don't know if I should feel complimented. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I told my boyfriend I wanted to spice up our sex life. He suggested incorporating bacon. He was serious. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out, holding hands, and he was playing with a strand of my hair. I thought the whole thing was very romantic. He then said he loved how my mouth tasted like bacon. FML
Today, I said to my boyfriend that he makes the same noises when he smells bacon as he does when we have sex. Now everytime we have sex, he whispers "Bacon..." in my ear. FML
Today, my boyfriend was stroking my stomach and looking into my eyes. It was very romantic, until he grabbed my love handles and said, "Mmmm... bacon..." FML
Today, while at Wendy's with my boyfriend, I realized that he made more pleasure sounds when eating his Baconator than he did while sleeping with me. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me my vagina is "as clean as a dog's mouth." I'm not sure if that supposed to be a compliment or not. FML
Today, my boyfriend said to me, "You know how I know I love you? I don't want you to leave after we have sex." He thinks that's a compliment. FML
Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by bringing him some dinner. He made the same noise unwrapping the burger that he does when he sees me naked. I'm not sure if that's a good or a bad thing. FML
Today, as I was in the middle of giving my boyfriend head, he looked at me and said "Eat that cockmeat sandwich." He seriously thought it was a turn on. FML
Today, I was feeling a bit insecure about my body, and I told my boyfriend I don't know how he can even stand to have sex with me. He replied, "I know, right?" FML
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Top comments
CraneTG 0
Yes you should, cause there is nothing better than crispy bacon
saIty 17
Wow you should feel honored. That is one of the most complimentary compliment I have heard in my life. Be proud you know how to work it girl.
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Comments (340)
Mirorbo 27
It's a compliment, darling. Crispy Bacon is practically an ****** for the mouth!~
Kyzahhh 7
Now I want crispy bacon and sex
whcwtexan 0
Agreed!!!
xNephilim 19
No shit, me too... Ugh.
not_cool808 16
? did somebody say bacons!?
NomOnShroomz 14
No Jimmy. Nobody said bacons. Now get back in your cage.
not_cool808 16
ok mom.
ScarletBloom 14
Does he really like bacon. If yes then take it as a compliment.
perdix 31
It depends. Generally, such a statement is high praise, unless he's one of those who prefers his bacon limp, which would mean you're very good, but not great. Of course, if your boyfriend is Jewish or Muslim, it means you are an irresistible sin for which cosmic consequences will be paid.
whcwtexan 0
Once again perdix FTW! Although what would it mean of the OP is a vegetarian?
perdix 31
It would mean the boyfriend doesn't mind blatant hypocrisy. I'll bet he claims he's a celibate vegetarian, whereas he's really a bacon-eating ******.
ikickgingers 15
20 - I LOL'd at irresistible sin.
perdix 31
Hmmm, Kicky, you laugh at irresistible sin, eh? I'll think of you next time I'm planning a heist, or when I decide to build an idol. Other sins could be fun, too! Let's go to the mall and openly covet the purchases of others.
yenidewi 11
hope he doesn't mean 'the smell' of the crispy bacon .. lol
toastedgrapes 0
that must be some damn good sex
Flutequeen 0
Take it as a good thing because bacon is good. Unless your a vegetarian.
tucker5005 1
well, most vegetarians love the taste of meat, but don't eat it for some reason of their own. aka: bacon= =}
drawmesunshine 17
They make vegetarian bacon. It's really creepy, though, and NOTHING like bacon. So I guess they don't have vegetarian bacon, just something that vaguely resembles the idea of bacon and happens to be vegetarian.
onedayinamsterda 14
i think it really depends whether he likes it crispy in the first place ? crispy bacon tends to be all dried up compared to those that are fried just nice with enough chewiness in them so u can savour all the artery clogging fatty goodness!
WallyTheWombat 0
If your crispy bacon is dry then you're not cooking it right. There's a perfect medium where you wanna stop that leaves your bacon crispy, yet doesn't leave that dry charred feeling in your mouth that overbooked bacon does.
jakeshade11 8
Yes, it's a huge compliment. Next time you make him a sammich, be sure to throw some bacon in there. You're probably not as good as Canadian bacon though, so don't get too excited...